There's Only One Place to Call Home
by isabellacullenlover23
Summary: Sequel to 'There's Only One Forks High'. Edward and Bella have been married for 4 years now, with a few additions to their family. Cue the crazy nanny, struggles with careers and sex and rambunctious kids. It's going to be a bumpy road!
1. 4 Years, 6 Months and 2 Days

**Title: There's One Place to Call Home**

**Summary: Sequel to 'There's Only One Forks High'. Edward and Bella have been married for 4 years now, with a few additions to their family. Cue the crazy nanny, struggles with careers and sex and rambunctious kids. It's going to be a bumpy road!**

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><p><em><strong>AN: Welcome Back! I didn't keep you waiting long to post the sequel! I was really excited to post it! I already had the ideas for it and I was going to just post it in the original story but I decided to separate it into two stories!<strong>_

_**So, sit back and enjoy!**_

_**Just like the other story, I will alternate between Bella and Edward POV. I'm going to start out with EPOV.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter 1- EPOV- 4 Years, 6 Months, 2 Days<strong>

Kids are crazy. Especially when you have three of them.

4 and a half years ago, it was just Bella and I, living simple lives in Port Angeles.

Then, we moved down to the sunny, busy streets of Los Angeles. From there, changes were endless.

The Christmas before we moved, Bella told me that she was pregnant. Of course, she tried to keep it a secret, but only from me. Her mistake, telling EVERYONE else. Someone was bound to leak it to me.

It happened to be Rose. She asked me if I thought that Bella would enjoy a handmade quilt to swaddle the baby. She went on to explain that she was very into quilting and knitting since she found out she was pregnant and would be happy to get Bella into it as well… That's when she clapped her hand over her mouth and ran away. She begged me not to say anything and act surprised. I did what she asked, but I just coordinated my gift to hers.

To this day, she still wears her charm bracelet, with the diamond encrusted baby bottle on it.

On June 1st, almost a month early, Bella went into labor. We weren't worried that it was so early. The doctors warned us that might happen. It was her first pregnancy, coupled with the fact that she was carrying twins, it was most likely she would deliver early.

Yep, twins. Guess it's true that they run in families. Because Rose had twins as well a few months back. Them Cullen genes are strong as fudge. Yeah, I had to cut back on the 'F' word with the kids around now.

I never realized how evil Emmett and I must have been for my mother. It's like they plotted together. One would start crying, get tired out and go to sleep. But then the other one would just start up again. It was a terrible cycle.

I swear Bella and I went 6 straight months on zero sleep. Finally, around 7 months they started to sleep through the night.

But we loved them with all our hearts, despite how insane they drove us. Edward Anthony Cullen Jr. and Carlie Rose Cullen were the only twinkle in our eyes. That was until we were surprised with the arrival of Katie Elizabeth Cullen, about a year ago. She was not planned, especially since we were just getting the twins to be potty trained and they were in their terrible toddler stage. But with tons of coffee, we managed to do just fine.

We were a pretty happy family, Myself, Bella, Little Edward, Carlie and Katie. Getting pictures might be a pain, trying to get 3 kids under the age of 5 to smile and look in the same place at the same time was nearly impossible. Taking trips anywhere was a project, even to the supermarket. Between diaper bags, this one's toys, where's that one's shoes and which child was crying, times were a bit chaotic. But somehow, we got through each day, with every child accounted for.

Some days, I really wished we could have some sort of help around the house.

The D-Fenders paid a decent salary and Bella made good money at the nearby hospital as a physician's assistant. So, money was certainly not issue. As it turned out for Bella, a lot of schools near us in Los Angeles had more programs designed for physician's assistant rather than nursing. She was lucky enough, with her excellent grades to make an accelerated program that had her graduated with her PA license in 4 years. So, for the last half year she has been working in the NICU at the hospital down the block from us.

She worked during the day, from 5am to 3pm most days. Then, when she got home, I went to practice, 5 days a week, from 5pm to 9pm. It was the road trips that were the hardest. Between November and April, half the time I was gone. It sucked being away from my kids, and Bella. Not to mention that it was tough on Bella to deal with everything on her own.

It was June now, so I only did slight conditioning a few days a week to stay in shape, but that I could do from home. These times were easier, especially on Bella and I. More time together, as a family and a couple.

But as the next season approached, I knew that we were going to need some help. I just had to convince Bella.

Today was Katie's first birthday. So, everyone flew down and our 3 bedroom house was stuffed with our family. All the kids crammed in Bella and mine's bed, not that it was much different than other days. My parents were in one bedroom and Bella's dad and new wife, Sue, were in the other. Alice and Jasper decided to stay at a hotel, while Emmett and Rose and their 2 kids stayed in the living room on air mattresses.

She was too young to have met any friends, so Katie's birthday party was filled was just our immediate family.

I loved Los Angeles. Seeing the sun everyday when I wake up was refreshing. I loved living in the cozy 2 level house, with the wraparound porch that went along the entire house, even with a balcony outside our bedroom. Bella and I loved sitting out there at night, once the kids were asleep and watch the sun set while we sip on a glass of wine.

I also loved having the freedom. Away from parents and their nosy tendencies. And their opinions.

But I never realize how much I miss our parents and my brother until I see them. It these times, especially as they're about to leave after the party, that I think about moving back home.

"Daa," Katie mumbled from the swing she was sitting in.

"Come here, munchkin," I said, as I picked her up into my arms. "Do you know what today is? Today is your birthday, baby girl. You are one year old today," I told her, sticking one of her chubby fingers out. "See, one. That's how old you are today. And everyone is here to celebrate!"

I couldn't help but giggle along with Katie as she giggled at her fingers; her laugh was infectious.

Emmett joined me in the living room. Everyone else was outside setting up for the party. I had no idea what stupid theme it was, I didn't really see a point. Katie wouldn't have any idea what the theme was.

"Hey there, little girl," Emmett said as he as sat down next to me, reaching over to take her from me. I allowed her to go to her Uncle and he immediately had her in a fit of giggles.

"How you feeling man?" I asked. He was looking better. His hair was growing back a bit and he had gained back some weight.

About a year ago, it was finally to the point where Emmett needed the bone marrow transplant. I missed about half a season to stay up in Forks for the procedure and the down time that was necessary afterwards. He continued to receive treatment and now his numbers was stabilizing. The doctors were confident in a few weeks he would move onto a month of radiation and then they could declare him in remission, finally.

"I'm doing okay. The Kids keep my spirits up. It's tough to sit on the couch and sulk when Alex and Samantha are around being adorable. I don't want them to worry. It's better for me that way, anyways," he explained.

I was about to tell him good when the door flies open and all the kids ran inside, covered in dirt. Bella and Rose were quick behind them.

"Alex! Samantha!" Rose Yelled.

"Edward! Carlie! You guys need to get dressed!" Bella yelled as well.

Emmett and I just shook our heads and laughed, continuing to play with Katie, ignoring the ruckus coming from the bedroom. The girls had it under control.

"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Katie! Happy Birthday to you!" the family serenaded her. She was sitting in Bella's lap, face lit up at the sight of cake. Her and Bella blew out the candle and as soon as the cake was put in front of Katie, it was mashed across her face. She ended up with more on her face and clothes than in her mouth.

The pictures were priceless.

The kids played in the sandbox and swing set that we had. While the adults mingled between the table where the food was and the pool. It was a typical sunny, warm June day in Los Angeles, everyone was thankful for the pool.

"Daddy?" I heard from a voice coming towards me. It was Edward.

"Yeah, bud?"

"Can Carlie and I go in da pool wif Uncle Em?" he asked in his child English.

"Did you ask Momma?"

"No, she's inside wif Katie," he told me.

"Did Uncle Em say it was okay that you guys went with him?"

"Yeah. Alex and Sam are going in," he informed me.

"Alright. I'll bring you over there. You both need to put your floaty wings on," I told him. He jumped up and down before hugging my leg and running off to tell Carlie.

I blew air into the floaties while my kids were squirming at the edge of the pool, splashing Alex and Sam who were already in the pool. Then, I had to put them on. The hole to slide these things up their arms was really freaking tiny. I kept pushing them up, while trying to pull their arm down and they wouldn't budge. I tried adding water and it just kept slipping out of my hands. Emmett was hysterical as he watched me struggle.

"Hold your daughter," said the voice of an angel; my wife. I took Katie into my arms and looked on as my wife slid the floaties up their arms in one swift motion. She did it as effortlessly all four times and helped the kids down into the water.

I moved Katie over to my hip, to let Bella snuggle into my other side as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. "How did you do that?" I asked her.

"Practice," she told me, kissing me on my cheek before skipping off to sit with Rose and Alice.

She missed them terribly. It was tough on her. She didn't make many friends at her school. And she didn't have many friends at the hospital. The only girl that I had met was a shy girl named Jane that she went to school with and now worked with at the hospital. Other than that, she was lonely. The kids and I were all she had. She missed having her friends around all the time.

Every Wednesday, they would all video chat. It was a tradition they never strayed from because they never wanted to drift apart. They all looked forward to the family events held when they got to see each other in person.

Jasper and Emmett were taking turns tossing the kids into the water and giggles were erupting all around; the kids in the pool; Jasper and Emmett and even Katie from the occasional splash of water that touched her skin.

I was bouncing Katie on my knee, flicking my water dripping fingers at her, since she loved the water. Usually in the morning, I would take her out in the pool; she had a baby float tube that she sat in and just floated around. I would splash her gently and she would soak it all up.

All my attention was focused on Katie. I didn't notice until I heard the big splash and Carlie and Sam screaming.

Emmett was about to throw Sam into the water; he had her lifted up in the air. Then, the splash came.

Emmett just collapsed. His knee buckled under him and he fell down, just sunk under water. I didn't know what to do. I had Katie in my arms and all I wanted to do was jump in and save my brother. But I had to trust Jasper to do it. All the kids were rushing towards me as Jasper was pulling Emmett up. I was pulling the kids out of the water, one by one when everyone else started rushing towards the water.

Rose jumped in, fully clothed and started smacking Emmett in the face. Bella took Katie immediately and I was next to jump in, followed by my dad.

"Emmett, Emmett! Do you hear me?" My dad asked him, while lifting his eye lids open and trying to gage his eye moments.

Jasper splashed water in his face and finally Emmett's eyes fluttered open and he started coughing up water, which he must have swallowed when he collapsed. We all sighed collectively in relief to see him open his eyes.

"Emmett Cullen, if you ever scare me like that again, I will kick your ass," Rose told him, through stifled tears.

Jasper, Dad and I pulled Emmett out of the water and laid him down on a lounge chair on the deck. He continued to cough, gaining the breath back into his lungs and pushing water out. Rose threw her arms around him, kissing the side of his face and whispering things in his ears. Alice and Bella had the kids by the table, trying to get them to eat but I could see their scared eyes looking at the deck.

I knew I had to go and say something to them. Dad was looking over Emmett and Rose was right as his side, I figured it was okay if I left and let them deal with it.

As soon as I stumbled down the stairs, half in a daze, Edward and Carlie were attached to my legs, tears streaming down their faces.

"Alex and Sam are worried, Daddy," Carlie told me.

"Sam tinks that she hurt him," Edward added.

As heavy as they have gotten, I managed to pick them both up into my arms; having twins, I quickly learned how to manage picking them up at the same time.

I brought them over towards my wife, who had Sam on her lap, sniffling against her shirt. Bella was running fingers through her hair, trying to soothe her but she wasn't listening. Alex was right next to Bella, trying to help his sister but tears were down his face too. He was just as scared.

I put Carlie and Edward down, motioning for Alice to go near them. Jasper had followed me and thankfully they were talking to them, and soothing them.

I picked Sam up off Bella's lap and brought her in my arms. Sam happened to be my Godchild.

"I hurt Daddy," she sobbed to me.

"No, sweetie. Look at me," I told her, lifting her chin up. She had the same icy blue eyes that Rose had, except they were the shape of Emmett's, big and wide open. She was the perfect mix of her parents. "You know that Daddy is sick, and he just got weak. He just needs to rest. You didn't do anything wrong. It's Daddy's sickness. Grandpa is going to look after him and make him as good as new," I assured her.

"He's not going to be sick anymore?" she asked, sounding hopeful that her Grandpa could fix all Emmett's problems. _I wish, kiddo._

"I'm sorry. He's still going to be sick. But, he's going to get better really soon, okay? You believe me?" I asked her. She sniffled a bit before lightly nodding her head. I moved her head over to my shoulder and let her cry on my shoulder.

Rose, with red, puffy eyes, came over after about 10 minutes.

"Hey, baby," she said to Sam. She looked over at Rose, her long blonde hair covering most of her face. Rose took her from my arms and snuggled her tightly in her embrace. She rocked back and forth with Sam, while gently rubbing the top of Alex's head, who was clinging onto Rose's other side.

"He's okay," she told me, relief across her face. "Your Dad wants to take him to the hospital, just to get a blood work up and check things out. He thinks he is going to need more treatments."

I nodded my head at her, as Bella came and wrapped her arms around my waist. Our kids were being kept occupied with Alice and Jasper, while my parents were alongside Emmett, still by the pool.

"Do you want us to watch Alex and Sam?" Bella asked her.

She shook her head no. "I was actually wondering…" she paused, looking down at her kids "…if Edward, you would go. I trust that he's okay, since your Dad said so. I think that my kids need me more than Em right now. I know he'd feel better having you around, though."

"Of course, Bella are you okay here?" I asked, I never liked assuming that she was fine handling 3 kids by herself. Although I knew she could, and Alice and Jasper were here to help.

"Yes, baby. Now go, Em needs you," she told me.

I gave all my girls, the mass amount of amount of them now, a kiss on their head before going over to Emmett. He looked like hell. His clothes were soaked, and although it was near 85, his lips were blue and his body was freezing. Not to mention, he was as white as a ghost.

"Hey buddy. Why don't we get you into some dry clothes before we head off to the hospital?" I suggested.

Emmett slowly nodded his head and my father agreed. Emmett was told to sit up slowly, fast movements could cause him to blackout again, and once he was up, he wrapped his arms around my dad and mine's shoulders. We helped him into the house, get changed and into the car. I drove, since I knew the streets. My mother and father sat in the back with Emmett.

My dad pulled strings to be able to help treat Em once we got into the hospital. They took about 8 tubes of blood; my dad wanted all of his levels tested. Then, he was hooked up to fluids and told to sit back and relax while the tests were being run.

It took about 3 hours of waiting around, pretending to watch TV while we really all watched Emmett and jumping at the sight of every doctor, hoping it was Emmett's results.

When the results came back, his cancer levels had spiked. His blood sugar was low as well, too low and that's why he blacked out. The doctor explained that between the chemo and the cancer cells multiplying, it was normal for his sugar levels to drop and if was over exerting himself, he could pass out.

The hopes of the chemo treatments stopping soon, vanished. Remission was still a far ways away. My dad had explained from the beginning that this would be a long battle. With his type of leukemia, patients average 3 and half years on chemo, longer for males due to our junk apparently. Emmett happened to be on it longer because his cancer was wider spread, and because he needed to stop for a while due to the bone marrow transplant. They didn't want the chemo to affect the transplant and allowing it to work.

My dad seemed relieved that Em hadn't passed out from something more complicated, that it was just his sugar levels. Although his levels were elevated, everything else seemed fine.

His doctor did say however that Emmett would have to stay in California for another week or so. His body was weak and shouldn't sustain the stress of travel.

Emmett seemed thrilled at this, that he would be able to stay longer. For once, he wasn't cursing himself for being sick, but happy that something good came out of it.

I was silently cursing myself.

I was supposed to be his savior. I was his perfect genetic match; we were identical twins. You can't get a closer match that the two of us.

When he got the bone marrow transplant, I thought that was his ticket to a clean bill of health. His bone marrow would start producing enough healthy cells while the chemo would wipe out all the cancerous cells, and he would be in remission.

It didn't work that way. At this point, I was questioning if my marrow did any good to him at all.

I hated hearing him weak and so down on the phone. I hated hearing my mom cry on the phone how she can't take much more of the bad news. She was scared she was losing her son. Even my dad sounded tired on the phone lately, worry was affecting him too.

I was the one person who was supposed to be able to cure my brother. But I didn't. Shit, I barely even helped him.

Emmett was allowed to go home right after we got the results. He was told to take it easy and perhaps have some candy on him, in case he feels light headed.

Everyone seemed fine and dandy, like nothing was wrong as we left the hospital. Dad had his arm around my mom, who was humming to herself. And Emmett just walked along like he didn't just pass out in my pool and almost drown.

I wasn't fine. I was far from fine. I don't know why everyone was acting like everything is normal. It's not. Emmett's sick and he's obviously not getting any better.

The ride home was quiet; I didn't offer out any conversation, but neither did anyone else.

When we got home, we were bombarded by everyone; questions, tears and hugs flew around.

I skipped past everyone and slipped into the backyard. I just wanted to be alone.

But, in a full house, that never lasts for long.

"Hey man," I heard Jasper say, as he sat down beside me on the porch. He offered me a beer, which I greedily accepted. I need something to calm my nerves a bit. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I muttered. I wasn't in the mood for Jasper to psychoanalyze me.

"It doesn't seem like nothing."

"Well, it is. I don't need a therapist, Jazz" I snapped.

He put his hands up in defense and I instantly felt guilty. "Dude, I'm just trying to find out what's got you so bummed. I'm not trying to be your therapist. Shit, I don't want to be your therapist. I'm off duty," he tried to joke to lighten the mood. But not even a sympathy laugh passed my lips.

"Everyone acts like shit is normal. Emmett's sick, man. Not like a fucking cold, where he takes some Nyquil, goes to sleep and wakes up the next morning fine. He has cancer. And it's not going away."

"That doesn't mean it's not going to ever. Besides, this is normal for them. Hospital trips and dealing with the side effects of his treatment. He goes through this all the time. You know sometimes he has to go to the hospital to get medicine to stop puking and rehydrated. It's just another day for them, man. He can't act like he's sick all the time; otherwise imagine the state he would be in then."

I just nodded my head. Somewhere inside me, I knew what Jasper was telling me was right. This was just a bump in the road and one day, hopefully soon, it would all be over. I also knew that Emmett couldn't walk around day in and day out acting like he's sick and feeling sorry for himself. That wasn't who he was, he had kids to worry about and that would only stunt his progress.

I knew all this.

Yet, I couldn't shake the nagging I felt in my stomach. The feeling like I should be doing more to help him. The feeling like everyone needs to be doing something more. Because having Emmett sick like this wasn't fair and I was tired of it.

"You just have to have faith, Edward. That everything is going to be okay," Jasper told me, patting me on the back. I gave him a nod, gesturing my thank you and he went back inside.

I leaned my head back against the house and I embrace the silence.

I don't know how long I was staring at the unfinished wood that is above my head, but I'm snapped out of my thoughts as I hear the tiny pitter-patter of feet.

"Hi, Dad," Little Edward tells me.

I motion to my lap and he hops up and leans his head back against my chest.

You'd think because we named him after me that he would have my looks. But, nope. The twins look like Bella. Brown hair and big chocolate brown eyes, like their mother. I'm terrified for when Carlie grows up, especially if she's only half as beautiful as her mother. Katie is the one that looks like me, sort of. Her hair isn't as coppery and weird looking as mine. Most times, it looks to be like a strawberry blonde. Unfortunately for her, she did get the style of my hair. Her hair was often in disarray; curls going every which way atop her head. But her eyes are the same emerald color as mine. They all have Bella's lips, full with that especially pouty bottom lip. Their pouty face turns everyone into suckers.

"Why are you sad?" he asked me, looking up at with his wide eyes.

"I'm not sad, buddy. I'm just thinking."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Uncle Emmett," I told him honestly.

"'Cause he fell today," he said to me; he didn't ask me, he told me.

"Yeah, buddy. Emmett's my twin brother, like Carlie is to you. I miss him a lot. And I don't like to see him sick."

"I know, Daddy. But it's gonna be otay, I just know it," he told me, wrapping his miniature arms around my torso.

Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes as my son sat in my lap comforting me. It's amazing how simple it was for him to calm me down. Most people think that parents are supposed to be the ones to calm their children down. But everyday my kids prove that they're the ones that calm me down and settle my fears.

I stayed outside with Edward for a while, rocking back and forth on the porch. Watching the colors of the sky change like a watercolor painting. The sky turned dark and Edward was fast asleep in my arms. I adjusted him carefully in my arms and carried him inside.

I motioned to the girls as I walked in to be quiet, as I walked past them and towards his room. Charlie and Sue had left while we were at the hospital, and my parents were set to leave in about a half hour. Normalcy was returning to my house at the very least.

I was about to cross the threshold into his room, when I felt a tiny tug at my shirt. I saw that it was Alex.

"What's up, buddy?" I whispered to him.

"Mommy and Daddy are staying in there. Aunt Bella said all us kids could stay in Carlie's room," he quietly informed me.

I nodded to him and brushed past him to get to Carlie's room, where Edward's bed had been dragged into. I set him down on the bed and kissed his forehead. I stared at him as he snuggled into his bed and watch his chest rise and fall slower and slower as his sleep became deeper.

When I got back outside, my parents were set to leave. I gave my mother a long, tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. I actually gave my father a full hug, not the one armed kind I normally gave him. They both asked me to watch over Emmett and I assured them I would.

I was happy to see them off in the end because I was tired of all the tears being shed. I didn't want to see anymore tears.

I collapsed onto the couch and found myself exhausted at 9 pm. How parenthood changes you, I thought to myself.

I felt the couch dip down beside me and I opened up my arms, instinctively knowing it was my wife.

Sure enough as she snuggled into me, her familiar coconut smell with the fruitiness that came from her hair attacked my senses. I nuzzled my face against her hair, causing her to giggle.

"Katie's asleep. Carlie and Sam are sharing Carlie's bed. And Alex and Edward are sharing Edward's bed. I set up the big, double air mattress in Edward's room for Rose and Em. I feel bad that they have to sleep on that air mattress for a week. It's got to be killer on their backs," she told me.

"Yeah."

"How was the hospital?"

"Honestly?"

"Um-hmm," she answered.

"Terrible. I can't stand seeing him continue to get sicker and sicker. It seems like nothing they do is working. Not even the transplant. Why can't they figure out what the fuck kind of medicine he needs to get better and give it to him?"

She gave me those all knowing, motherly eyes that she's adopted since having kids. It's that look that says, everything is going to be fine and to just relax, take a deep breath. But, I wasn't her child. I wasn't that naïve. Things were more complex than my brother stole my toy.

"Baby… Look at me," she told me, forcing my chin down to look at her. She puckered her lips and locked them against mine. "I know it's hard. It's hard on everyone, but especially you because you're so connected to him. But, you know that it's not easy to find the right cocktail and this takes time…"

"But how much time?" I demanded, interrupting her. "It's been almost 5 years, Bella. 5 years of his life he will never get back! How much more can his body take!"

"His body will take as much more as it needs to take in order to get better. I know you're upset right now but stop talking like he is going to die. He will get better and that's the end," she told me and started to get up.

I grabbed her arm, pulling her backwards and right onto my lap. I kissed her neck, behind her ear and settled my head into the crook of her neck. She turned on me, so that we were face to face, with her straddling me. I tightly wove my arms around her still slim body and she did the same to me. Our foreheads touched as I took deep breaths.

"I'm sorry, baby. I know he's important to you too and I shouldn't be getting negative. I guess I'm just really tired," I explained, although I could feel this went deeper.

"Then, let's get to bed baby. Lord only knows how long Katie is going to sleep for. Plus, we have a long week of 5 screaming kids around the house. We will need our sleep," she reminded me.

I nodded and allowed her to pull me into bed.

As Bella got ready, I found myself staring at my baby girl, sound asleep. I envied her innocence and her unknowing mind, a mind that didn't know of the malicious things in life, like cancer. I was grateful that she didn't know, that she couldn't feel the pain we all felt. I kissed her head before climbing into bed.

Bella's warm body filled the space next to me. I wrapped my arms around her, her back pressing firmly against my body. There was nothing more that I wanted at that point other than to feel the closeness of my wife's body against me.

Other than my brother being healthy.

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><p><em><strong>AN: So, a kind of heavy first chapter. But that gives a slight view into the grown lives of Edward and Bella.<strong>_

_**Emmett and Rose will play a bigger part in this story and help take the story into the direction I want it to go.**_

_**There will be several flashbacks into the past, to show things that occurred over the 4 years that passed.**_

_**I do promise that Edward and Bella do have a happily ever after, as do the rest of the characters. But they will have struggles along the way, Edward especially in the beginning, as you can already tell.**_

_**But, I hope that everyone enjoys this and will continue to read.**_

_**Please review and Happy Reading!**_


	2. We Might as Well be Strangers

There's Only One Place to Call Home

Chapter 2- We Might as Well be Strangers

BPOV

_**AN: Sorry this chapter is a little late! I had computer problems mixed with some writer's block from a negative review on another story :( But I finally got it together and I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter!**_

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><p>When I found out that Emmett and Rose were going to be staying an extra week and I would have more time with my best friends and niece and nephew, I thought this was going to be great. We would take them to the beach, show them around L.A. and maybe even take them up the Hollywood sign. Of course, I knew why they needed to stay and that Emmett needed rest, but I would make sure they had a great time. Everything happens for a reason. Emmett got weak so that he could spend more time here.<p>

I thought it was going to turn out great.

Well, I apparently know nothing.

Not even about my own husband.

Ever since the day of Katie's party, Edward has been increasingly more and more withdrawn. He is barely around to be seen. He doesn't talk to any of us, which includes me. Meals times don't matter to him anymore, he just eats as he pleases. Most nights, the space beside me in bed is cold and empty, so I know he isn't getting much sleep.

But the part that surprises me the most is he is even distancing himself from the kids. He loves his children, absolutely loves them. First thing he needs to do when he walks in the door is hug each other and give them a big kiss. He tucks them into bed with me every night, reads them their bedtime stories. Edward is the dream father.

Not these past few days, and the kids notice and are worrying.

I understand that he is going through something, that something is clearly bothering him. I don't know if it's something I said or did, or whether it is someone else. He won't talk to me.

It's completely reasonable that he would withdraw, that's what he is used to. Had this happened when it was just him and I, I would have given him his space. I would have expressed that I am there for him when he needed me and I would let him gain distance until he was ready to talk.

But it isn't just him and I. He is a father now of 3 very young and impressionable kids. He can't just decide to withdraw into himself and ignore the responsibilities he has. He can't turn off a switch. Lord knows, I could never get the chance to do that and neither should he.

Whatever is bothering him, he needs to man up, face his problems and defeat them.

I tried to go on with life as normally as I could, minus Edward's normal role in our everyday routine.

Each day, I got the kids up and fed them. Then they each got their turn in the shower, brushed their teeth and got clothed. I would help Rose with Alex and Sam and getting them ready. Then, we would tackle some touristy part of L.A.

The first day, we went to the beach. Alex and Sam had never been to a real beach with white sand and clear water to soak their toes in. We lathered them up in suntan lotion, put Emmett under an umbrella and let the kids splash around in the Pacific Ocean. They soaked it all up. I even got Katie to sit near the edge of where the water met the sand and let her enjoy the ocean for the first time.

Emmett helped the kids make the most ridiculous but large sandcastle, complete with a moat. Emmett cringed when the kids had enough and had a ball destroying and leveling the sand out. He pouted for an hour about how much hard work he put in to making it.

The next day, we went into Hollywood. We walked along the famous sidewalk of stars and got a glimpse of the Hollywood sign. This was mostly for Emmett and Rose; the kids could have cared less. They kept whining about when we would get to McDonalds and the playhouse area.

Emmett was pretty tired after two days of sightseeing, so we hung around the house on the third day.

That's when Rose finally got her opportunity to ambush me about Edward. Not that I had an answers to offer.

"What's going, Bella? He has barely been around," she told me.

"I know. Believe me, I know. The kids keep asking if he is mad at them or if they did something bad. I feel terrible."

"Well, you need to find some way to get through to him. You're the only one that has ever really been able to get through to him. You got to find a way."

"I'm trying but he won't even come to bed, Rose. I'm totally at a loss. I feel like I don't even know my own husband at this point," I said, trying to hold back tears.

"What about before we came? How were things then?"

"Fine, I suppose. I mean, we are very much settled into a routine. It's very easy to let some things fly out the window when you get comfortable doing the same thing day in and day out," I explained.

"What do you mean?"

I took my lip between my teeth. Rose may be one of my best friends, but I still wasn't comfortable discussing such private details with her. But, I did need to talk about this with someone. Better her than someone else. "I mean sex. We are barely intimate anymore."

"Well, you do have 3 kids; I can't imagine you have many opportunities."

"Believe me, a few months back, we would find a way. If you want it bad enough, there is always a way. But lately, and I'm not saying it's just him, we haven't even been touching. We get into bed at night, peck goodnight and go to sleep. It's terrible."

"Bella, you need to talk to him. Clearly there is more going on than just how is acting these past few days," she said to me, placing a comforting hand on my back.

"I know I do. But what if I don't like the answers? What if he doesn't find me attractive anymore? My body has changed, Rose. I've had 3 kids and its hard keeping up appearances when raising them."

"I know. I have 2 of my own. You look fantastic still. But, you need to find out the answers regardless. Better you find out now and a way to get through it than to keep going on like this," she said.

I nodded my head before excusing myself to my bedroom.

I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. I stripped down to my bare body and inspected myself in the mirror.

My long brown hair was shorter now, around my shoulders. It was easier to maintain. Most days, like today, I kept it natural, waves and curls surrounding my face. I had bags under my eyes from the lack of good sleep. There was no sparkle to eyes and face looked dull.

My eyes traveled down to my body and I cringed at the sight. Across my belly were the signs of two pregnancies, one with twins. Scattered stretch marks and flab. I wasn't fat but the skin surrounding my stomach wasn't firm and I definitely had more meat than I did in high school.

My boobs were fuller, which was probably the only thing I liked at this point. My hips were wider as well, something I wasn't fond of. My jeans all fit tighter and dresses stretched across my hips and I always looked disproportionate.

I wouldn't be surprised in the least if Edward didn't find me attractive. What's to find sexy about this? Especially when most times it's behind stained baggy clothes or scrubs.

I tossed and turned most of the night. My mind cycling around my new marital problems, problems I didn't even recognize until Edward started acting strange.

I thought about our good times and how much I loved Edward and how much he said he loved me too. I knew what we had was great. This was just a stage. We fell in love young; we married and had our kids young. Of course we would hit a phase where things fizzled out. I just had to find a way to put the fizzle back in it.

I got out of bed and walked through the eerily quiet house. It was rare not to hear a child crying or screaming. I had to find Edward and talk to him. We were going to fix this.

I wandered all throughout the house, no sight of my husband anywhere. I was just about to give up when I saw a shadow moving in the backyard. It could have been an animal but something told me to check it out.

There, sitting by the edge of the water, glistening under the moonlight sky was my husband. His hair sticking up in every which way, more than usual. His back was slummed over and his head rested in his hands. I could see the tension exerting itself throughout his bare back. I could honestly say I had never seen him so distraught.

I stepped outside; the noise of the screen door sliding open didn't even cause him to twitch. I carefully approached him and smoothed my hand across his back.

"Bella? What are you doing awake? It's in the middle of the night," he said to me.

"Well my husband wasn't beside me in bed, so I thought I'd go looking for him."

"I haven't been in bed the past few nights," he reminded me.

"You think I haven't realized?"

"I'm sure you did."

"Why are you out here? Your skin is freezing!" I told him. It was windy and with the sun down, the nights did get quite chilly.

"I'm fine."

"No, come one let's get you inside and into some clothes. You'll be…" I started to say but he interrupted me.

"Stop mothering me, Bella. I'm not one of our kids that you need to coddle. I'm a grown adult and I can take care of myself," he scolded.

"Could have fooled me," I mumbled.

"What?"

"You heard me. You're acting ridiculous, Edward. I understand that something is clearly plaguing you, it's obvious. But you aren't handling it. You're acting like a child who didn't get his way, silently brooding and pouting in the corner. Your kids think they did something wrong and they miss you. Yet, you couldn't seem to give a shit!"

"You, have no idea what's going through my mind."

"You're right. Because you won't tell me!" I yelled at him.

"I can deal with it on my own," he said through his teeth.

"Can you? Because it doesn't seem like it," I told him and turned on my heels to return inside. I wasn't going to put up with being yelled at for telling him to go inside. If he wanted to act childish and pout, then I'd let him. He was the one that would lose out in the long run.

The next day I woke up with barely any sleep. I went in to get my babies, but was surprised to see they were already gone.

As I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and dragged my feet into the living room, I was greeted with bright eyed smiles from the kids.

"Hey you guys, who got you up this morning?" I asked them as I kissed them on top of their heads.

"Daddy," little Edward replied.

"He did? And where is Daddy now?"

"He's outside," Carlie said.

"Okay, you guys eat your breakfast. I'm going to go talk to Daddy real quick, ok?"

They both mumbled okay, and I grabbed Katie from her highchair and went outside to see Edward. I gasped as I saw what he was doing.

"Really? Now, you're smoking?" I questioned.

"It's not a big deal. I'm doing it outside," he tried to reason.

"It's going to get on your clothes and it's going to fill the house. Why are you doing this?"

"No thanks for getting the kids up this morning?" he asked, changing the topic.

"I was coming out here to comment on it, that was until I saw you with a cancer stick in your mouth!" I said, slightly raising my voice. I didn't want to yell with the baby in my arms.

"Ma….Da…." Katie blabbered and squirmed around in my arms.

"I'm taking her inside, away from your smoke. Change your clothes when you get back in. We'll talk about this later," I told him, going back inside.

"Okay, Mom," he mocked as he continued to inhale the cigarette.

I closed the door a bit harder than necessary, causing everyone in the living area to stare back at me. I waved them off and apologized, saying my hand slipped. The kids shook it off and went back to eating their pancakes, while Rose and Emmett eyed me a bit more suspiciously.

"Hey, Bella. Emmett and I have some news to share with you!" Rose said, motioned for me to join them in the living room.

"What's up?" I asked as I put Katie down in her swing and plopped down on the couch beside them.

"Rosie and I are going to watch the kids tonight. You and Edward need a night out."

"You can take a nice long shower, get all dolled up and then enjoy a nice night out. No complaints. It's order. Emmett already told Edward," Rose added.

"Is that why he is out there _smoking_?"

"He is smoking?" they both questioned in unison.

"Yep."

"I'll go talk to my lovely brother," Emmett said, kissing Rose on the head, before heading into the backyard to hopefully yell at Edward.

"Is this a good idea, Rose?" I asked.

"Yes. Now, you two are leaving at 12, because you guys need a long day away. So, get your pretty butt into the shower and get ready. Don't worry about anything. Em and I got everything covered," Rose told me, winking at me before smacking my ass as I trotted towards the shower.

I turned the water on, making it just hot enough that my skin could barely tolerate it. I added some bath salts, lit a few candles and finally allowed my body to sink into the bath. I had to admit, it felt amazing. I closed my eyes and allowed my brain to fill with memories of Edward and me, from the past.

_I loved waking up every morning, nice and early and seeing the sun coming up from the porch. It was May now in L.A. and Edward's season was finally over. The weather was warming up and the beach was a favorite spot of ours. We spent many nights walking along the water, just enjoying each other's company._

_My nostrils flared as I smelt coffee in the air and I smiled knowing my bastard husband was coming out. I hated not being able to drink coffee while I was pregnant. You would think my husband would be considerate enough not to drink, or at least not drink it around me. But no, he liked to rub it in and tease me with it._

"_Good morning, beautiful," he said kissing the top of my head. He settled down at my feet and brought his attention to my very swollen stomach. His hand gently smoothed over my over sized tee shirt, and the babies kicked immediately at his touch. He brought his head close and peppered kisses all over my mid section. "Good morning, twins. Did you let your Momma sleep last night?"_

"_A little. I think Carlie keeps kicking little Edward. I think she's going to be the bigger one. She's making more space for herself," I told him._

"_Carlie, it's not nice to kick your Momma or your brother. Be nice," he said to my stomach and dropped another kiss to it._

"_I don't think she quite understands yet, baby."_

"_She will. She will understand quickly that when she grows boobs she will not be allowed outside of this house," he informed me, making me giggle. But his face stayed completely still. "I'm serious, Bella. She's not allowed to date."_

"_Okay, Daddy. She isn't even born yet," I reminded him._

_He flashed me a smile before getting up and sitting down on the swinging bench. He patted his lap and opened his arms for me to sit on his lap. I wobbled over and squatted down onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and my big belly, as I laid my head against his shoulder. He kissed my cheek, and down the side of my neck._

"_Are you still going to want to do this when the babies come?"_

"_What do you mean? Kiss you? Hell yeah," he responded, continuing to kiss my neck._

"_Yeah, kiss me. Or want to have sex with me. Are you going to find me attractive? I mean I'm going to try to get my body back but some things are never going to be the same. I have these ugly stretch marks and I doubt I will ever trim my hips down again. I…"_

_He interrupted my rant with a firm kiss on top of my lips. He forced his tongue through my lips and invaded my mouth. Our lips kept moving and our tongues were dashing between our open mouths. When he pulled away, I was breathless._

"_Stop worrying. You are the most gorgeous woman in the world no matter what. I love your hips and your stomach. I love your stretch marks," he told me, leaning down to kiss the stretched skin of my stomach._

"_Why? How?"_

"_Because it represents you mothering our children, the best gift you could have ever given me. I look at your body, and the beautiful changes it has undergone and I love it even more than before. It represents our kids. I wouldn't change you having them for anything in the world. So, I wouldn't change anything that happens to your body because of it. You are absolutely stunning regardless."_

_I threw my arms around his neck and place a big, wet kiss on his lips. I continued to pepper his mouth with pecks, eventually moving the kisses all across his face. "I love you, Edward. Always and forever."_

"_Always and forever, baby," he repeated as he brought his hands to my face, caressing my cheek before he pulled my face to him. He smiled against my lips before passionately kissing them_

That memory brought tears to my eyes. What if all those words he spoke to me were bullshit? How am I supposed to believe him after the way he has been acting?

I worked hard to push that out of my mind. Despite the cigarette incident, he did wake up and get the kids ready and fed. So, perhaps he was moving towards becoming himself again. Plus, he did agree to this date and I wanted it to turn out good. Having negative thoughts and discrediting him before it even started would not make things better. I had to keep an open mind and remind myself that he was hurting. Although he took his emotions out in an irritating and frankly unhealthy manner, he was still plagued by something and as his wife; I was supposed to be there for him. That's what I had to do today, be there for him.

After my bath, I actually took the time to drag a brush through my hair and I broke out the blow dryer. I blow dried my hair out, having it straight for the most part. I even straightened it on top of that to eliminate the frizz and puffiness. I did a tiny braid in the front, just so that it wouldn't look so plain being pin straight.

I never bothered much with makeup, so I didn't for today. I put on a tiny bit of powder just to even my complexion. I coated my lashes with some mascara and dabbed my lips with some gloss, which was flavored. I had to remind myself to put it in my purse because I tended to keep licking it away.

Getting dressed proved to be a bit trickier. I wanted to look nice, but I honestly did have many nice pieces to wear. I called Rose in to ask for her help and she cringed at the lack of wardrobe I owned.

She told me not to worry and left my bedroom. I had no idea what that girl was up to but I did trust her.

Sure enough, she came back with something out of her suitcase. I was hesitant at first because I couldn't believe that we could honestly be the same size. But as I slipped on the dress, I was amazed at how confident I felt in it.

It was red in color, stretch satin. It was fitted at the top with black lace overlay. At the waist it flared out, with a bit of tulle underneath to keep the shape. The bottom of the dress was trimmed with the same black lace as the top. I felt beautiful in it.

I had these adorable lace covered black pumps with a peep toe that I paired with the dress. One black clutch later, lip gloss inside along with the necessities, I was ready to go.

I stepped into the living room and heard Emmett whistle. I didn't even notice but Edward had his back turned at the moment. As he heard the whistle, he swiftly turned around and instantly took my breath away. He blacked it out; black shoes, black slacks, skinny black tie and a black dress shirt, cuffed to the elbows in typical Edward fashion. He was also so handsome it sometimes caused me to ache. That and wonder how the hell I ever landed him.

His hand went over his heart and I heard him take in a deep breath. "Bella…" he said, as he started walking towards me, but two little rugrats stepped in his way.

"Wow Momma. You look purty," little Edward told me.

"Yeah, mommy. When we play dress up, can you make me look as pretty as you?" Carlie asked me.

"You're already prettier," I told her, tapping my finger against her nose.

"Not possible," Edward mumbled, and that familiar blush crept up onto my cheeks.

"Now, you two better behave for Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett. Okay?" I told them and they both shook their heads yes. "We won't be back too late, but listen to everything they tell you. Rose, Em. I left numbers on the refrigerator. If you need anything, just call us…" I started to say but Rose was behind me pushing me towards the door.

"You don't leave the kids much do you?" she asked.

"I've never left them with anyone besides Edward before," I confessed.

"Well, thank God we have two kids of our own and know how to handle things. Now, shoo," she said, blowing us each a kiss and instructing the kids to wave.

I was about to walk back into the door to give them all a kiss goodbye, but Rose slammed the door in my face. I could have sworn I heard her mumble 'finally' or something to that effect.

I huffed and marched towards the door, Edward giggling behind me.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked me once we were settled into the car.

"How about La Bella Cucina?" I suggested and Edward nodded and started to drive in the direction of our favorite restaurant. La Bella Cucina was a tiny hole in the wall place that hardly anyone knew about. The atmosphere was very relaxed and we were greeted by name due to our frequent visits. The prices were decent and they made the best mushroom ravioli, which happened to be a favorite of mine.

Once we got there and was greeted by a familiar hostess, she took us to a private booth in the back. It was separated from a lot of the rest of the place and perfect for what we needed, which was to talk.

"What are you going to get tonight?" Edward asked me, almost awkwardly, like we were on a first date.

"My usual. You?"

"I think I'll try your mushroom ravioli. You're always raving about. I'll have to give it a try," he said, settling his menu down onto the table.

Our waitress, Karina, took our orders and I even added a glass of white wine to compliment my dinner. Edward seemed surprised but he didn't question it.

"So…" he said as an attempt to break the silence between us.

"Why is it so tense and awkward between us, Edward? We've been married for almost 5 years now! Things shouldn't be like this between us."

"You think I don't know that, Bella. The hell if I know why it's like this. Maybe because you scolded me like a child this morning for smoking!" he said, with his voice slightly raised.

"Well, you're acting childish. Sulking in the corner and now apparently smoking. Since when do you smoke?"

"Since now. What's the big deal anyways? I'm a big boy, Bella. I can make my own decisions, including those about smoking."

"I never said you couldn't. But I don't understand why. I thought you would at least tell me. Why didn't you tell me that you were going to start smoking?" I asked.

"I don't know. I didn't think I had to pass everything by you," he replied, clearly acting defensive.

"I didn't say that. It just would have been nice to have known rather than catch you sneaking it behind my back."

"I wasn't trying to hide it. I just wasn't going to do it in front of the kids."

"Well at least you had even common sense to think of them," I sneered.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked, slamming his hands onto the table.

Of course, the waitress chose this time to come back with our drinks and a basket of bread. She seemed quite startled and I had a feeling she would be visiting our table as least as possible.

"Well…" Edward said once the waitress was far enough away.

"It means that you haven't thought about them at all these past few days while you have been a complete ghost. Your brother is here and we're supposed to be showing them around. Where have you even been?"

"Around."

"This is what things have come to? You aren't even going to tell me what you have been up to?"

"It's nothing, Bella. You are making way too big a deal out of it. The kids know that I love them," he replied.

"That's why they have been asking me what have they done that you haven't been around. They think you're mad at them," I told him.

"Well, I got them up this morning and they seemed fine."

"Yeah, because they're scared they are going to do something that is going to send you off again!" I yelled at him, causing people to turn and look at us.

We both put our heads down, taking sips from our drinks and munching on a bit of bread.

"What's going on with you, Edward? I know that something is bothering you. If you would just tell me what's going on, we could fix it together," I said to him, trying to reach his hand across the table.

He pulled his hand away. "No, apparently no one can fix the problem that I have."

"What do you mean?"

"The problem is unfixable and I'll just have to get over it," he said.

"What problem?" I said again, trying to push him into telling me what was going on.

"Nothing. Just drop it, Bella. Let's just enjoy our food and get back home. I'm tired of being stared at because we're arguing too loud.

My head dropped down. So much for a fun evening together to get away. All it turned into was a night of fighting with nothing getting solved.

Like Edward asked, we sat in silence. Slurps from our drinks and utensils scrapping against our plates were the only sounds coming from our table. The waitress came by only to bring our food and then bring our check. Tears threatened to make an appearance all throughout dinner, but somehow I kept them away.

We got into the car and drove in more silence. The tension seemed to grow as we approached the house, both of us knowing that many questions would be asked once we got home. An argument worse than the one at dinner just seemed to be brewing.

Edward parked the car in the garage and got out, slamming the door closed and walked away without looking back at me once. He slammed the front door closed and as I came inside, Rose and Emmett flashed me questioning looks.

"How were the kids?" I asked, pretending to be oblivious to what else was going on.

"They were fine for the hour and a half you guys were gone. What happened to a day away?" Rose questioned.

"Edward wasn't feeling well," I lied.

I slipped off my shoes and went into the bedroom where Edward was lying on the bed, shoes still on his feet. This was something he knew was a pet peeve of mine.

"Can you please take your shoes off in you're going to lay in bed?" I asked as calmly as I should.

"That's what you're going to be concerned with right now? Our bedding?"

"You know that irritates me."

He grabbed his shoes and flung them off his feet and across the room. I shuddered as I backed up against the dresser. "There the fucking shoes are off your precious bedding!" he screamed.

"What have I done, Edward?"

"Maybe this isn't about you. Maybe this is about me. But you are just concerned with yelling at me for all the shit I do wrong. I'm not perfect, Bella!"

"I know that," I said, and I immediately wanted to take it back. I slapped my hand over my mouth and continued to stagger back as Edward came towards me. I was never scared of him. I never had a reason to be. But this time, there was something different in his eyes, something that made me fear him. He seemed as though he was going to snap and I was in the middle of it.

"If you know I'm not perfect, then why are you with me? Everyone sees how perfect you are. Perfect little job, you're the perfect mother, you keep a perfect house and you try to be the perfect wife. Yet you're married to a regular old guy. One that apparently you're scared of since you're cowering away into the corner."

"I'm not perfect. I don't expect you to be either. Do you really think that's what I expect?" I asked as the tears I had holding back began to fall.

When Edward saw my tears, he backed away. His expression softened and he collapsed onto the bed. He put his hands over his face and then brought them through his hair.

"No, shit. I don't know, Bella. I'm just…"

Then the door flew open and Rose and Emmett came barging in.

Emmett looked pissed. He must have heard the fight we were having from the living room.

I appreciated them coming to check and make sure we were okay. But, I could have killed them at the same time. Just as I thought Edward was about to open up to me and tell me what was going on with him, they barge in. Now, Edward feels like no one trusts his temper and thinks of him as this monster, which he isn't. I can see that his eyes turned cold again and his mask was back up.

"What the fuck, Emmett?" Edward yelled at him.

"I heard banging and yelling. With the mood you have been in lately, I wanted to make sure Bella was alright," he said, standing toe to toe with Edward. He turned away to look at me and survey my body. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Emmet. Maybe you should leave…" I was about to tell them to leave but Edward interrupted me, unable to hold back his temper.

"I'm not a wife beater, Emmett. I would never hurt her. Fuck, I've never even pushed her. We barely ever scream at each other. Who are you to come in here and accuse me of hurting her?" he yelled, poking Emmett in the chest.

"I am your brother and Bella's best friend. Who the hell are you though? I don't even know who you are these past few days. Ignoring your kids, not paying any attention to Bella and skipping out on showing Rose, the kids and I around L.A. I thought you were a family man. But the Edward I have seen out here isn't even a man," Emmett told him.

I took this opportunity to stand between them. I could see Edward seething from the words his brother spoke to him. Edward didn't want to hear about the way he has been acting. He was hurting and couldn't see the wrong in what he was doing. His actions were warranted in his minds. I knew I could get through to him but as much as Emmett thinks he's helping, he's actually making it worse.

"Emmett, you should back up. Edward would never hurt me, no matter what. He's going through a lot right now, I don't know what but we shouldn't be treating him like he's violent," I said and hesitantly Emmett backed away with his hands up.

"I just don't understand why he's acting like such a baby…" Emmett said, and this caused Edward to lose it.

He ripped his tie off from around his neck. He threw on the nearest pair of shoes, barely checking to make sure they were fully on his feet. He grabbed his keys and flew past us and out the door. A few seconds later, the front door was slammed closed and I knew he had left.

I collapsed on the floor at this point, sobs ripping through my body, Rose sank down with me, smoothing my hair and telling me it's going to be okay. I kept shaking my head at her, because I didn't know if it was going to be okay.

"Why did you have to add that in, Em?" I asked him through my sobs.

"Because he can't just be let off the hook for acting like a douche the past few days. He needs to own up to it, Bella. He needs to hear what he has done."

"But now he's gone!" I sobbed.

"He'll come back, B. He just needs time to cool off," Rose assured me.

"The kids," I thought out loud. I shot up and starting wiping away the tears when Rose grabbed my shoulders.

"They're watching a loud movie in the basement. I put them down there when you guys got home. They can't hear a thing."

"Thank God," I said, plopping down onto the bed, allowing the tears to flow again.

"I'm going after him," Emmett announced.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Em?" Rose asked.

"He needs to hear the truth, whether he wants to or not. I'm going to set him straight," Emmett said.

I heard the tiny footsteps of one of the kids running across the wood floors.

"I'm coming with you," Little Edward announced.

"Baby, no one is…" I started to say but Edward jumped up into my lap and hugged me.

"I heard Daddy leave. He's upset and I know how to make him feel better. Please let me, Mommy," he asked, sticking out his bottom lip in the most pain staking adorable pouty face.

I looked at Emmett who nodded his head that it was okay and I nodded my head to him. He broke out in a smile and squeezed me tightly with his tiny arms.

"I promise everything is going to be okay, Momma. Daddy is going to come home and we're all going to be happy. You'll see," he tried to assure.

I nodded at him again and brushed my nose against his. I kissed his forehead and let him jump down and grab Emmett's hand, pulling him towards the front door.

Within a few minutes, I heard the car leave and I just lie back on the bed and let the tears flow freely.

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><p><em><strong>AN: So, I know it's not all romance and a happy ever after life for Edward and Bella now. But they were married young and they are bound to hit some bumps in the road and that's what this is.<strong>_

_**Next chapter, Edward and Emmett talk and Edward reveals what's bothering him, which will affect his whole family!**_

_**Thanks for all the support btw! I was blown away by the alerts that people added and the views the story got! It warmed my heart and I can't thank everyone enough!**_

_**Happy Reading and please review!**_


	3. The Heart Brings You Back

There's Only One Place to Call Home

Chapter 3- The Heart Brings You Back

EPOV

_**AN: Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and everyone that read! I'm so happy to see every view and every alert!**_

_**Happy Reading!**_

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><p>I shouldn't have left- It was stupid and did a lot more harm than good. Yet, here I find myself speeding along in my car headed towards the park. My basketball is in the back seat, the court overlooks the water and it's the only place I could imagine myself going right now.<p>

Well, other than home.

I did a lot of thinking here. I spent many nights staring off into space as I recovered from numerous injuries, some more serious than others. I came here to think about how great it was when Bella told me we were pregnant again with Katie. It was the most logical place for me to go, and probably the easiest place for me to be found. But, I didn't think I was hiding. I just need to catch my breath.

I grabbed the ball and dribbled it out onto the court. From the three point arc, I lifted my hands above my head and let the ball sail off the tips of my fingers and whoosh through the net. My shot hadn't changed much over the years; it was my body that took the hit. The skill was never the problem. I never had trouble putting the ball through the hoop from anywhere on the court. I had a decent outside shot and my shot from inside the key was my strongest. I was able to get a layup down through double coverage. The best was when I drew a foul and made into a 3 or 4 point shot. There was nothing like the feeling of helping your team win and the cheers from the crowd spurring you on.

I continued to goofing off around the court, alternating between long range shots and one armed lay ups. I took a few free throws; just to make sure I still had the proper arc on my shot. It felt good to loosen up my muscles and let the game take over my body.

I heard an engine rumble up next to mine, I didn't need to look to know it was either Bella or Emmett coming to scold me some more about my childish behavior. Bella always asked me never to walk away from her, and yet I did just that. I had promised her a while back that I would never leave her side, no matter how bad things got. And that's exactly what I did. I broke my promise to her, and that's what upset me the most. I felt like shit enough on my own, I didn't need someone else telling me to feel worse.

I heard two doors slam shut, which surprised me but I didn't look up. I heard footsteps hurrying towards me and I was barreled into by a tiny body. I looked down to see little Edward latched onto my leg.

"Daddy, please come home!" he begged.

"Hey buddy, I'm going to come home. I just needed to think a little bit," I told him, as I lifted him up into my arms. I wiped a few stray tears that left his eyes and cradled him close to my chest. Like I didn't feel like a jackass before for leaving Bella, but now I made my son cry too. _Way to go, Edward._

"Hey bro," I heard Emmett say as he approached with his hands stuffed in his pockets. I nodded his way before focusing my attention back on the little boy in my arms.

"Why didn't you think I was coming back home?" I asked him, pulling him back a bit so that I could see his face.

"'Cause you was mad at Mommy and yelling a lot. I thought that you didn't think everything was gonna be otay like I telled you," he said to me.

"I'm sorry, bud. Daddy was mad and I shouldn't have been yelling like I was. Was Momma sad?"

He nodded his tiny head and sniffled before burying his head in the crook of my neck. I rubbed his back and looked towards Emmett.

"Look, I promise you that I am going to make Mommy feel better and that I'm coming home, okay?" I asked him and again he nodded his head, this time smiling a bit. I let him down on his feet and picked up the ball, offering it to him. He wanted to be like his Daddy, constantly trying to get the ball through the hoop. The kid impressed me just by breathing though. "Why don't you show me your jump shot a bit, while I talk to Uncle Em over there, okay?"

He took the ball from my hands eagerly, grinning widely as he jogged over to the smaller hoops at the other end of the court.

"Did you really need to bring him here to make me feel guilty?" I asked Emmett once little Edward was occupied with dribbling the ball around. I kept a smile plastered on my face as he kept looking towards me.

"He begged to come. Said that he would convince you it's going to be okay. Bella seemed hesitant but when that kid looks you in the eyes and gives you hug, he kind of has you by the balls, ya know?"

Boy, did I ever. I lived with the kid, I dealt with it every day.

"How's Bella?" I asked. I knew Emmett was probably pissed at me too, but all I could think about was Bella and how much I fucked up tonight, and these past few days.

"When I left, she was collapsed on the bed crying with Rose. How do you think she is?"

"I don't need your self-righteous bullshit Emmett. Who do you think I am, coming in there like I would ever lay a hand on Bella? Are you fucking kidding me? Don't you know who I am?" I yelled exasperated, throwing my hands up in the air. Edward immediately dropped the ball at me raising my voice. But I smiled at him and waved him to go on; he looked skeptical but did what I said.

"Honestly, Edward. I don't know this version of you. This person who doesn't hang around his family and start screaming at his wife. I don't know you right now and I don't know what this you is capable of. All I know is that Bella is my best friend and I was not going to let you hurt her."

"Physically, you mean. I've already hurt her emotionally. Fuck, I really fucked things up this time," I told him, taking a seat on the bench. I was hunched over, with my head in my hands.

Emmett placed a hand on my shoulder. "That's because you are beating yourself over something and you're bottling shit up. What the hell is going on?"

I took a deep breath and paused before answering him, wondering where the hell to start. "You should be better…"

"Edward…"

"No, listen. You have been getting treatment for 5 years now, 2 longer than what Dad said is the average. You got the bone marrow transplant and it didn't do shit! I was supposed to help you. I'm you're fucking brother, your twin and I can't help you!"

"Exactly! So stop acting like a baby about it and man up. You did what you could do and I appreciate it more than I can say. The doctors said that the transplant could take awhile to start actually making progress. But, I'm the one that's sick here and I go on living life the best I can. It doesn't make me any better having you sulk around because you're not God and able to fix everything," he told me. I was about to open my mouth but he was having a moment, because he put his hand up to shush me. "In fact, I'm supposed to be resting but instead I have to help you fix your idiotic mistakes. Okay, now you can talk."

"I know. I know I'm acting like a baby. But I see the stress on Rose's face and I just wish I could do more. But this whole situation is just the beginning…"

"What the fuck else did you do?"

"It's what I already did…"

~Flashback to 3 years ago~

_I had just finished my first full season with the Los Angeles D-Fenders and I was loving it. Playing basketball again in a team environment felt amazing and feeling the atmosphere from the fans was even better. It didn't matter to me that this was D-league basketball or that I might not ever make it to the NBA. I could spend my whole career here, doing this and I would be happy._

_Bella and I's twins were just about 1 and were a handful. Twice as many diapers, bottles and cries. It was tough juggling fussy babies and getting enough sleep to be energized for the game, but I managed. Not to mention, Bella was an angel._

_Game nights, even if she had work the next morning, she would stay up all night with the twins so that I could get the sleep I needed. If I tried to help, she would shoo me away and go into a different room, forcing me to sleep. I couldn't have asked for a better wife._

_So tonight to celebrate, I was taking my wife and kids out. There was a new restaurant that Bella wanted to try, so I figured I would take them there. It would have been nice to go just Bella and I, but to be honest neither one of us ever wanted to be apart from the twins. Plus, it was nice to go out and celebrate as a family._

_We got seated at a square table with Bella and I across from each other. Little Edward was to my left and Carlie was to my right. Nothing was better than the feeling I had right then; completeness._

_Dinner went off without a hitch; Bella and I thoroughly enjoyed our meals and the kids barely made a peep. They ate their baby food and giggled at the faces Bella and I made to each other. Everything felt carefree and loving. I thought nothing could bring me down from this high._

_Then, I heard the snickering. At first, I thought nothing of it, that it was just a bunch of loud and obnoxious people. I started hearing twenty-three, which was my jersey number and D-fenders being thrown around. _

"_Hey, Cullen!" I heard, muffled laughs from the crowd around the guy._

"_Hey D-fender!" another one said._

_I turned around in my chair to face them. They were a bunch of college kids, Bella and I's age, maybe a little older. "I'm trying to enjoy a nice meal with my family. Can you just leave us alone? Thanks," I said, and turned back around and smiled at my wife who seemed to be a bit worried._

"_Edward…" she said to me, to try to warn me but I had already felt the tap on my shoulder._

"_Cullen!" the first guy said._

_This time I stood up and went toe to toe with the punk. I stood to be almost as tall as the guy, but he wasn't intimidating to me._

"_What the hell do you want?" I asked through the teeth._

"_I just want an autograph," the guy said, trying to seem innocent. He handed me a napkin from their table and a black sharpie._

_I looked wryly at Bella who shrugged her shoulders while she looked after the twins. I focused my attention back on the guy and the group of three others around him. "Who should I make it out to?"_

"_Dear Nathan, D-Fenders suck and so do I. Sincerely, Edward Cullen," the guy said, laughing and nudging around with his friends._

"_To Nathan, enjoying losing to us next year. Yours truly, Edward Cullen," I said as I wrote it down on the napkin. He immediately hit it out of my hand and pushed me backwards. Bella sat up and came between us._

_She placed her hands on my chest, placing more distance between me and the punk. "He's not worth it, Edward. Just back away," she told me._

_We had already paid our check, so I turned my back and helped Bella put the twins in the double stroller. We started walking towards the exit, when I heard another round of snickers._

"_That's right pussy. Listen to your fat wife!"_

_That did it for me. My mind was in a haze as I left Bella at the front of the restaurant. The guys came towards me. One guy I pushed backwards with enough force to knock over a table. The other guy coming right at me, I swung and connected right with his jaw. That left the loud mouth and one other guy._

_The other guy attempted to come behind me and pin my arms behind my back. I elbowed him in the stomach while the loud mouth got me across the cheek. It was just enough of a distraction for the other guy to successfully pin my arms behind my back. Loud Mouth punched me once more in the mouth before landing a blow directly in my gut._

_I fell down to my knees with that one, causing the last two to burst out laughing. As I got out I elbowed the guy behind me in the nose causing him to fall down. I got up and landed a punch right on the loud mouth's nose. The blow pushed him back a bit._

_This pissed him off. He came barreled towards me and tackled me… straight through the plate glass front of the restaurant._

_The group of guys scurried away as Bella came crying towards me._

"_Edward! Edward! Are you okay?" she cried._

"_My back…" was all I could manage to say._

~ End of Flashback

I got shards of glass stuck into my back. Luckily, the fragments missed nerve endings, so I didn't get badly injured. I did have to rehab the entire off season in order to make it back the following season.

I had back pain on occasion but no real long lasting effects lingered. Until now.

Bella was royally pissed at me after that, mixed with extreme worry for my condition. I promised her I would never leave her again, or fight, even if it was in her honor. Words didn't mean anything to her, but my presence meant everything. She didn't want me to ever jeopardize that again. She didn't want me getting into fights with anyone, no matter the issue. She told me I needed to get a grip on my anger. To her, it was most important I was there for her. Words couldn't break her or the bond we shared and I shouldn't get worked up and risk my safety over them.

"I went to the doctor a week ago, just for a routine check-up," I started to say.

"Is everything alright?" Emmett asked.

"The doctor ordered an MRI of my back to check the scarring around my spine from that little incident. Well, the scarring seems to be under control."

"That's good, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but it's not that. It turns out there's a tiny piece of glass still embedded in my spine. The doctor said it's near a nerve ending. It's dangerous to try and remove it because a nerve could be damaged trying to get to the piece. But if it shifts anymore, I could be paralyzed. The lightest hit during a game could have dire consequences. But, it could also move during everyday life. The doctors say they don't know if playing basketball will do me any worse than playing around with Edward," I confessed.

Emmett let out a big breath and stared out into the space in front of him. "Wow. That's some heavy shit. Don't you think that the risk is a shitload higher if you play basketball?"

"I guess but no one can say definitively. I'm only 22 years old Emmett, do I really need to give up on my dreams already?" I asked.

"What's more important, Edward? Playing basketball or walking?" he countered.

That was the same question that had been bopping around in my head.

Emmett and I played around briefly with little Edward, Emmett making sure I didn't take the slightest bump. I could tell him watching over me like I was fragile now. About 10 minutes later, I said it was time to go. I buckled little Edward in the car seat in my car and Emmett drove away in his car.

As I neared our house, I gave my little buddy some instructions. "Hey, can you do me a favor?" I asked him. I looked at him in the rearview mirror and I saw him nod. "I need you and your sister to play with your cousins in the basement with Aunt Rosie and Uncle Emmett. I need to say sorry to Momma."

"Why are we stopping?" he asked as I pulled up in front of our local florist.

I just flashed him a wide smile.

I knocked on the door to my own bedroom, listening as Bella sniffled, placed her feet on the floor and shuffled towards the door.

She opened it only a crack and then turned back towards the bed.

I stuck the 24 long stemmed roses through the door first, so that's all she could see. Then I stepped through, holding my hands up in the air.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness but I'm going to beg for it anyways," I told her.

She turned around and looked at me, her eyes were red and puffy from her time spent crying. She looked exhausted and energy less. "You just walked away, like a coward."

"I know. I was totally out of line. I broke my promise to you, something I never wanted to do. I just felt like a stranger in my own house, not trusted by anyone, the people that were supposed to know me the best."

"I didn't treat you that way. You had a problem with how defensive Emmett got with you. And I suffered the consequences," she said, crossing her arms across her chest. I held out the roses to her and she was holding in a smile. She was softening. She took them from my hand, her fingers lightly brushing against my skin. That tiny bit of contact felt my body cold, needing her contact to warm me up again. She mumbled "Thank you" under her breath, for the roses.

I put the roses on the ottoman on the front of the bed. I walked towards her; she backed away slowly against the wall.

"Don't be scared of me, Bella. You know I won't hurt you," I told her, dragged the side of my hand across her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned in towards my touch.

"You did hurt me," she said to me.

I took her face into my hands and stared deep into her eyes. "I know I did, baby. I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry," I told her. Her stance was collapsing, her arms dropping to her sides and tears started to stream down her face. I wrapped my arms around her, bringing her close to my body. I squeezed her against me and started to kiss the top of her head and the side of her face. "I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry. I love you, Bella."

"Promise," she sniffled. "Promise that you will never leave me again. That you'll talk to me and make things right between us," she sobbed.

"I promise you, baby. I swear," I told her as I continued to hold her tight to me.

"Edward…" she said in a tiny voice.

"Yeah, baby?" I answered her, pulling her back so that I could look at her.

"Do you still find me attractive? I mean I know that my body isn't what it used to be…"

I stopped her mid sentence, silencing her with my lips. "You are and will always be the most beautiful girl in the world to me. I love everything about you, every mark, every scar and every pound. It's what makes you, you. I wouldn't change a thing about you," I told her, placing one more kiss on her lips.

She buried her face into my shirt and held onto me tighter as she sobbed harder, letting the stress from tonight and the past few days leave through her tears. I continued to stroke her hair and murmur to her that I loved her and thought she was beautiful.

I placed a kiss on her face, slowly raising her face towards mine as I kissed between her eyes, over the bridge of her the nose, the tip of it and finally her lips. I let my lips linger over hers, only applying slight pressure against hers. I swooped her up into my arms, without breaking the hold on her lips. I laid her body down on the bed as I removed my tee shirt that was stained with her tears.

I lay down beside her, both of us on our sides and we stared at each other.

"I love you, Isabella Cullen. Always and Forever," I said to her.

"Always and forever, my husband," she replied, and leaned forward to kiss me.

She threw her arms around my neck and pulled herself closer to me. I slipped my arms around her, snaking one around her waist and rest my other hand on her hip. She hitched her leg over mine and pulled our midsections closer together.

She pushed me backwards and had me flat on my back. She had her legs on either side of me, straddling me. She had on one of my tee shirts and that it was it. I smoothed my hands up and down her bare legs as I watched her pull off the tee shirt, exposing herself to me. She dragged her nails down my chest and over my abdomen. Her fingers found their way to my pants and she unfastened them. She lifted her butt up and had me pull them off, taking my boxers off at the same time. As she settled back down on top of me, she circled her hips over my quickly hardening dick.

I could feel how wet she was through the thin cotton panties she was wearing. After a fight, she was always turned on. Make up sex was just that amazing, at least with her it was.

She started rocking her body against me; each movement was slow and deliberate. Her head went backwards and her back arched, pushing her full chest towards me. I palmed them both before bringing my head forward to suckle on them. I dragged my teeth along her perky nipples and sucked on each, causing more pleasure to build up in Bella

At this point she didn't want to tease herself or me any longer. She slid her panties over to side and took hold of my dick. She rubbed up and down on it a few times before she settled herself down onto it. We both let out deep moans as our hips made contact.

My hands gripped her hips as I steadied her as she rocked back and forth on me, keeping me buried deep inside her. She swiveled her hips around and started to bounce up and down. I brought my hips up to meet her movements and she kept going.

Her body hunched forward and her lips met mine. I put my hand behind her neck and kept her close to me as she kissed me and never stopped her movements.

I slipped my arm around her waist and lifted her up and in one fluid motion, I flipped her on her back. I was on top now, never having left the warmth of her inside.

I grabbed her leg and brought it up to shoulder and started to thrust into her.

"Ummm, Edward," she moaned out.

I smiled at her and picked up my pace, crashing my hips into hers. Skin slapping against skin, deep breaths and heavy moans were the only sounds filling the room.

I was nearing my end, and I knew Bella was too. I couldn't control my speed; my movements were fast and frantic as I needed for us to come together.

All I needed was the familiar tightening around me to put me over the edge, Bella's wall clasping around me as I spilled everything I had inside her.

I collapsed on top of her, kissing her bare chest and neck before I worked my way up to her face.

"I love you," she said to me.

"I love you too, baby," I told her, kissing the tip of her nose.

As much as I would have loved to end my night there, lying naked in our bed with my wife, life was still going on outside of our room. We should probably relieve Em and Rose of their babysitting duty.

Giggles and stolen grabs were exchanged between us as we threw on some clothes to go see our kids. Bella looked radiant in her post-coital glow and one of my old tee-shirts and basketball shorts. She wore my clothes better than I did and it was sexy as hell.

I slipped behind her as she was throwing her hair up and wrapped my arms around her mid-section. I was kissing behind her ear and along the side of her neck.

"You truly are amazing, you know that?"

"Oh yeah? You're not too bad yourself, either," she teased me.

"I'm serious, Bella. I'm so lucky to even know you, and even better than that I'm married to you I know I don't always treat you like the princess you are, but just know that I remember how lucky I am to have you and I don't take you for granted," I told her, squeezing her closer to me.

She squiggled in my arms to turn and face me. "Where's this coming from?"

"Tonight, the past few days. I was selfish and you and the kids didn't deserve that. I just wanted to tell you again that I'm sorry and how much you mean to me."

"We had a fight, Edward. It happens. It's going to probably happen again, let's just move on from it. But, I appreciate you telling me all that. I think I'm pretty lucky to have you," she told me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"I'm definitely the lucky one," I said, grasping hold of her arms and spinning around in her hold on my neck. I swopped up her legs and hoisted her on to my back. I started to run out the bedroom, her bouncing on my back and giggling loudly. I ran through the hallways and down the stairs to the basement where everyone else was.

"Daddy!" Carlie screamed and came barreling towards me and latched onto my leg. I saw Edward playing with Alex, building some Lego town. Sam had been playing dolls with Carlie before she came towards me. Katie was next to Rose in her baby walker, chewing on her toy keys.

Emmett wiggled his eyebrows at us, having sensed why we were both in giddy moods. Rose smacked him upside his head and just smiled at us.

I set Bella down and scooped Carlie up into my arms.

"Hey there munchkin! What are you doing?"

"Playing wif my dollies. You wanna play too?" she asked, her wide grin missing one bottom tooth.

"Of course!" I told her and sat her down on the floor next to Sam. I joined them, sitting cross legged and grabbed a doll. I cradled it in my arms like I would a regular baby. "Okay, what should I do?"

The girls laughed at me and showed me how to brush her hair, change her clothes and feed her. I did this with a few other dolls before the girls wanted to work on something else, me. So, I let them pretend to put makeup on me, doing all the eye shit and putting lipstick on, the whole nine yards. I think I even got a bow put in my hair.

When this was done, it was time for bed. I took the two sets of twins upstairs to get their teeth brushed and put in their beds. I kissed four foreheads and tucked four tiny bodies in their beds.

Quiet finally rained over the house.

With the exception of one beautiful voice.

I tip-toed my way into the doorway of our bedroom, where Bella sat on the rocking chair, singing Katie to sleep. Bella was never one to sing much, maybe in the shower or to a few songs on the radio, but never that much.

Once she got the rocking chair when the twins were born, every night she would sit in right by the window and sing the babies to sleep as she rocked gently back and forth. Her voice always sounded so peaceful and beautiful. I wished I could hear that voice every second of the day.

"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping  
>I dreamed I held you in my arms<br>But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken  
>So I hung my head and I cried.<p>

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
>You make me happy when skies are gray<br>You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
>Please don't take my sunshine away…"<p>

The moonlight shone upon her face. Creating a glow of light around her face. She looked like the angel she truly was.

"I'll always love you and make you happy,  
>If you will only say the same.<br>But if you leave me and love another,  
>You'll regret it all some day:<p>

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
>You make me happy when skies are gray<br>You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
>Please don't take my sunshine away<p>

You told me once, dear, you really loved me  
>And no one else could come between.<br>But not you've left me and love another;  
>You have shattered all of my dreams:<p>

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
>You make me happy when skies are gray<br>You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
>Please don't take my sunshine away<p>

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me  
>When I awake my poor heart pains.<br>So when you come back and make me happy  
>I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.<p>

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
>You make me happy when skies are gray<br>You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
>Please don't take my sunshine away"<p>

She kissed the top of Katie's sleeping head and laid her down in the bassinet adjacent to our bed. She placed her hands on the sides of the tiny, lace crib and stared adoringly at our bundle of joy.

I lightly coughed, letting my presence be known and breaking Bella out of her trance. We both made our way to the bed. I got straight in while Bella went to get a vase and water for the roses I picked up for her.

When she got in bed, she cuddled directly into my side, laying her head on my chest. Her head rose softly with each breath I took.

"Hey, Bella…"

"Yeah, baby," she answered.

"What would you think if I never played basketball again?"

Her head shot up and shifted herself into an upright position, adjusting her head so that she could look at me. "Where is this coming from?"

"I'm just asking. I know how proud you are of me that I followed my dreams and made them come true. Would I still be the same man to you if I just never played again?"

"Of course. I don't love you because you throw a basketball throw a hoop well. I love because you love me, and our kids. I love you, and dislike you sometimes, because of how protective you are over us. Basketball has the least to do with me loving you," she assured me.

"Okay."

"I answered your question, so now you better answer mine," she told me.

"I went to the doctor…" I started to say, and I told her everything the doctor said. All the different possibilities and how basketball may not even be a contributing factor. "He said he has never seen an injury like mine before so there's no precedent on how to proceed. I just have to consider giving up my drea,ms…"

"Consider?" she said, raising her voice slightly.

"Yeah, I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet."

"You are not playing basketball, Edward Cullen. And that's that," she said. She turned her back, laid down on her side and proceeded to fall asleep.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: So, Edward has a lingering injury and is uncertain about his future in basketball. Bella is certain that she doesn't want him to play.<strong>_

_**Keep in mind, it's June in the timeframe of the story. Next up, we are going to move ahead 2 months. The family will be traveling to New York to celebrate Alice's birthday. Wonder what will happen there… What will Edward and Bella decide about him playing?**_

**_Thanks for all the alerts, reviews and views! I love them all! _**

**_Happy Reading and Please Review!_**


	4. What Are You Willing to Lose?

**There's Only One Place to Call Home**

**Chapter 4- What Are You Willing to Lose?**

**BPOV**

_**AN: So, in my last AN, I believe I said that we would be moving ahead in time and the family would be heading to New York. I decided to add one more chapter in before the family takes off on their small vacation.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**And, thanks for all the reviews, views and alerts! They keep me writing!**_

* * *

><p>He still wants to play.<p>

I can't believe that the doctors are telling him he could be _paralyzed_ and he still wants to play. This is just a bruise or a scrapped knee that would heal in a few days. This was a permanent reality that could set in. Edward could be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life- all because he was too stubborn to give up when the doctors said it was time.

I get it, it's his dream. Believe me, I'm as understanding as the next person and I'm damn well supportive. But how far do you take a dream before it destroys you and the people around you? The kids and I depend on Edward and all that he does for the family. Yes, his paycheck is part of it, but not all of it. I count on him to help me chase the kids around and take them places. I count on him to help me do the shopping, get the kids ready for bed and play with them.

I admire people who can live their lives normally in a wheelchair. I admire how they go day to day and live just as full a life as my family and I do. I know it's possible that everything could be fine if Edward ended up paralyzed.

From what the doctors said, it could happen even in Edward doesn't play basketball. If that happens, so be it. We will find a way to make it work, adjust our lives and be just as happy. But the way I see it, playing basketball is asking for it. I've seen how aggressive he plays. Getting his body into the paint and taking the hits and fouls as he goes up to make a layup. The bumps and elbows he takes as he protects the ball while he dribbles. Any tiny movement of that piece of glass could immobilize him and have him lying on the floor with no sensation in his legs.

Does he really want to risk that to throw a ball through a hoop?

It seemed selfish to me, to risk his physical well being and the way his family depends on him all so he could play. Our kids have dreams too. Our family has needs and so much time to get through. Yet for him, this insane need to put a ball through the rim takes precedent against all else.

Not for me it does.

I've made my feelings clear on the matter. Edward and I haven't slept in the same bed for the past few nights. He is still "thinking about things." I don't know what's to think about. You could be paralyzed and I'm worried, so I don't want you to do it. Shouldn't that have made up his mind?

It hasn't. He spends his days in the backyard, dribbling the basketball with Little Edward and Alex and the rest of his time in the basement, where he sleeps.

Emmett and Rose are getting set to leave. Emmett's strength is back up and he seems as well as I have seen him in the past few years. Maybe some time in the sun did him well. He had some color on his face and a smile to go with it. Rose seemed happy and the kids didn't want to leave.

I was folding up laundry to put in Alex and Samantha's clothes in their suitcase, while Rose was doing the same with her and Emmett's clothes.

"I wish you guys could stay even longer," I gushed to Rose. They had already spent a week longer than they were going to and yet it still didn't seem long enough.

"I would love to, but someone has to make a living and I doubt my job will grant another week of vacation. Plus, I think you and Edward need to get your lives back in order."

"I don't understand it, Rose. He could be seriously injured because of a game! And yet, he has to think about it! It seems absolutely ridiculous to me," I told her, while I sat on the bed.

She sat beside me and placed her hand on my leg. "It's all he knows. If he quits playing basketball, he will have to start from scratch. Find something he can do for the rest of his life and get used to that. Besides that, Edward is a stubborn guy, and proud as well. It's not easy for him to admit that he HAS to quit."

I nodded at her and ran my fingers through my hair. I was so set in my decision that he shouldn't play that I didn't stop and think about how much he did have to give up. I didn't think about all the changes that he would have to go through. He would have to find a completely different way of life. It was a lot to give up; I just wished he would realize he had to. I would be there for him to help him through it, but he had to get there on his own first.

I picked up stray toys and clothes along my way into the living where Emmett was watching some TV. I sat down next to him and leaned my head against his shoulder. He wrapped his thinner, yet still bulky arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head.

"Why can't he just give it up, Em? For me, for Edward, Carlie and Katie?" I asked him.

"Because it's hard for him to admit that he can't play anymore. If he quits, it's real. It's not easy to do, B," he told me.

"Do you think he's going to?"

"I know that he's going to make the right decision for his family. His family and you are most important to him. He wouldn't do something to jeopardize his place in your life; he knows that he is needed."

"I don't want to fight with him or make him that I don't care. I want him to know that I know it's hard but still know that I need him to tell me he is going to put his health first," I explained.

"So tell him that. I think he might feel like he is being forced into this decision without any consideration of how much he is losing."

"But what about all that he would be losing if his back gets worse?"

"That doesn't make giving up his dream any easier, Bella," he reminded me.

I nodded and went to get up to go talk to Edward when Emmett grabbed on my wrist to stop me.

"If he does quit, there won't be anything holding you to L.A. anymore. You, Edward and the kids could pack and come back home, to Forks," he suggested.

I smiled and nodded. I tried to hide my excitement over the idea, not wanting to get Emmett's hopes up. He smiled in returned and leaned back into the couch and focused his attention back on the TV.

I worked my way downstairs, my mind spinning in all different directions. I was thinking about Edward, how hard it was for to give up his dream and find a new one. But now, I have this new thought on my mind. Emmett was right; there was nothing holding us to L.A. without Edward playing basketball.

I loved the sunny days and the neighborhood we were in was great. Honestly, I did like it here. But this never felt like, nor will it ever probably, or be our home. Home was in Forks, the rainy, overcast barely over 3,000 population town. That's where the rest of our family was. I could work at Forks Hospital and then our kids could get to see their grandparents and aunt and uncle more. Nothing sounded better.

I thought about the rainy days and the kids splashing in puddles with their rain boots. I made my way downstairs into the basement where Edward was with our twins and Katie. I could hear Katie fussing as I got closer.

"Daddy, she wants to hear the soft kitty song!" I heard Carlie suggest. I couldn't help but giggle. The Big Bang Theory wasn't the best program for my children to be referencing. One night, the kids wouldn't go to sleep and Edward and I had just finished watching an episode of that show. All of a sudden, Edward breaks out in his terrible version of a falsetto singing voice, singing the soft kitty song. The kids fell in love with it and frequently ask us to sing it to them when they can't sleep or they're sick.

"_Soft kitty…Warm Kitty…Little ball of fur. Happy kitty…Sleepy Kitty…Purr Purr Purr," _Edward sang and Katie burst out into a giggle fit, clapping her hands.

"See, Daddy!" Carlie told Edward, sticking out her tongue at him.

"You know best, peanut," he told her, kissing her on the head.

I made my presence known and the twins ran towards me to hug me.

"Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose are upstairs almost ready to go. You guys should go upstairs and say goodbye. Daddy and I will be up in a minute," I told them, shooing them upstairs.

Edward stood up, bouncing Katie up and down in the air. "You need anything, B?"

"I just came down here to talk to you."

"What's up?"

"Have you thought anymore about basketball?" I asked him.

Edward placed the baby down into her playpen and put his arm around me as we sat on the couch together. "It's really all I've been thinking about. Do you understand how difficult it is for me to just give up on the dream I've worked so hard to achieve?"

"Of course I do! I pushed you to follow it; I know how important it is to you! But don't you know how important you are to this family? You don't know that if that glass moves the wrong way it could damage you in more ways than just preventing you from walking," I explained.

"But it could move by me stretching my back," he countered.

"Don't you think that you're placing added risk on it for no good reason?"

"It's no good reason to you. To me, it's all I know."

"You know your family. How to be a husband and a father. What about that?"

He took my face into hands, pulling my lips towards his. I kept my lips pressed against his, enjoying the warmth and softness of his lips. Slowly the pressure of our lips together lessened and we pulled apart. I rested my head against his, breathing deeply and staring right into his beautiful green eyes.

"I know this is hard for us, baby. I promise you that no matter what I decide, it will be okay. I will be fine."

"How can you promise that?" I questioned.

"Because, I'm your husband. I know that everything will always be fine," he told me, kissing me on my nose. I closed my eyes and let him embrace me. I let myself be encased in his toned arms, feeling his warmth overwhelm me and keeping me safe. Although I knew that he couldn't actually promise me that he would be fine, I believed him in this moment. He always managed to keep me safe and keep his promises. This time, hopefully, would be no different.

_I was late. I mean really late._

_Stupid freaking condoms- couldn't just always reappear on your own after you run out could you!_

_Edward and I had been a bit stupid as of late. The twins were just starting to sleep in their own beds again and calming down from their terrible three's. We were just getting some alone time back. So, when the drawer was empty and we were past the point of no return, we did anyway. Edward tried to pull-out but I had a feeling there was one time he didn't catch himself in time._

_Now, I've thrown up three straight mornings in a row and I'm two weeks late. I've craving pickles- which was something I craved the entire time I was pregnant with Edward and Carlie._

_I had to take a test._

_We couldn't be pregnant again- could we?_

_Our lives were just calming down again. From the moment we found out we were having twins, we had yet to stop moving. Now the twins were just three and we were perfecting a routine. Edward watched them during the day as I worked and then if he had basketball, I would already be home and I'd watch them. The rest of the time we just spent together, working as a team to get everything done._

_I was panicking. Could we afford another baby? What if we had another set of twins? Would the twins handle a sibling well? Could we handle twins and another baby?_

_I was making myself dizzy with all the questions swirling around in my head._

_I had my blood drawn at work and rushed the labs to find out if I was pregnant or not._

_Edward went to the gym to get a quick practice in; basketball season was currently on hiatus but he still liked to keep himself in game shape._

_It was eight o'clock. I had gotten the twins bathed, dressed into their pjs and already put to bed. I made dinner for Edward and I- baked ziti, his favorite. I set up candles on the table and I dragged a brush through my hair. I kept fidgeting with the hem of my skirt, anxiety high throughout my body._

_I heard the door open and close and a basketball dribble on my hardwood floors. He came into the kitchen- surprisingly clean and freshly dressed._

"_Did I forget an anniversary?" he asked automatically, dropping the basketball from his hands._

"_No, I just thought I would do something nice for you," I told him, ushering him to the table._

_He pulled me in for a hug and placed a chaste kiss on my lips before pulling out my chair for me before I sat down._

"_You look beautiful baby. I missed those legs," he told me, winking and scanning my body with his eyes._

Calm down, buddy. It's those thoughts that got us into this predicament.

"_Baby, I actually have something to tell," I said, sounding extremely nervous._

_Edward sensed it, and reached across the table to grab my hand. "Is everything okay? You? The kids? Emmett?" he questioned._

"_We're all fine. Well, I think we're all fine. There's just one little thing…" I started to say._

"_What's the one little thing?"_

"_I'm pregnant," I blurted out._

_Tears began to fall from my eyes as Edward stared at me, his face was unreadable._

"_Pregnant?" he repeated._

"_Yeah, I know what you're going to say. We just started to get used to having two kids and now we're going to have another one…"_

_I had more to say but Edward got up abruptly from his chair and pulled me up into his arms. He swung me around, peppering my face with kisses._

"_We're having another baby!" he exclaimed._

"_You're happy? I was so worried."_

"_Of course I'm happy. It's a baby with you,"_

"_But what about the chaos we deal with just with the twins? What about money? Can we do this?" I questioned._

_He brought his lips to mine, effectively shutting me up. "Everything is going to be fine, Mrs. Cullen. More than fine, I promise you."_

"_How can you promise that? How can you know for sure?"_

"_Because I'm your husband. As long as you're you and I'm me, and we're together, we can make it through anything. This is a good thing, Isabella Swan. You were meant to be a mother- I've never seen a better one, except for my own. This is baby is going to be tied with two others for the luckiest kid on the earth!"_

"_With a father like you, of course," I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck and attaching my lips to his. He lifted me up again and spun me around a few more times. "I love you, Edward Cullen. You always know how to make everything right again._

"_I love you too, Isabella Cullen. Always and forever," he said, sealing it with a kiss._

I'll never forget how nervous and apprehensive I felt before I told him and then how relieved and settled I was after talking with him. He had never broken his word to me- he always protected me and made sure everything was okay. I had faith in him that this time, he wouldn't let me down.

I was such a girl. I cried for an hour dropping Emmett, Rose and the kids off at the airport. It was harder than I expected to let them go, even though I knew it was coming. The kids cried as well- they enjoyed having their cousins around to play with all the time.

Now, Edward and I finally got the kids' rooms back to the way they were. We worked together to get them showered, dressed and into bed. Edward read a story to little Edward and I read a story to Carlie. Katie was already asleep in her bassinet in our room.

I went into the bathroom, looking forward to the warm shower I was going to take. I went into the closet to grab my towel and I noticed a wrapped box with a card with my name on it.

I opened the envelope and there was a picture of an elephant's ass on it. It said, "All this Booty," on the front and I opened it up to read, "And no one to Shake it for." Rose added underneath the type-written words, "Shake it for your husband, girl!" On the other side, she put "Something to seduce your husband in." Did I mention that the entire time I was reading this; the card was playing the song, "Shake, Shake, Shake your Booty." I couldn't help but laugh at Rose's stupid humor.

I unwrapped the gift and opened up the tissue paper to reveal a skimpy lingerie set. It was a flyaway baby doll in white. The top was a push-up bra with leopard print trim and thin bow. The rest was a sheer fabric with a lace trim lining the opening that revealed my stomach. It had a matching white thong with leopard trim. It was sexy without being over the top.

I decided to plan a little something for Edward tonight. With all the stress and arguing the past week, we deserved a special night. I turned the hot water on high and let the steam fill up the bathroom. I stepped into the shower, slowly lathering up my hair and deep conditioning it afterwards. After I cleaned my body, I shaved my legs and armpits and thanked my lucky stars that Rose had talked me into that bikini wax while she was here.

I towel dried myself and lathered my body in lotion, making my skin creamy and soft. I paid special attention to my feet, hands and elbows. I slipped on the soft lingerie and paired it with some white heels I found in my closet. I put on some makeup and even blow dried my hair, leaving it in the soft waves that blow dryer created.

I opened the door, the steam escaping so Edward couldn't see me right away. I put one arm on the doorframe and leaned against it, sticking my hips out and puckering up my lips.

"What took you so long? Did I hear the blow dryer?" Edward questioned before he noticed me. His mouth dropped as his eyes raked up and down my body. Then, he broke out his famous crooked smile that still made me weak in the knees like we were back in high school. "Holy. Fuck."

I swung my hips empathetically as I sauntered towards him. I tried to seductively crawl up from the edge of the bed, biting my lip as I worked my way up to him. Sometimes my seductive moves weren't so graceful, as I'm sure this wasn't. Edward laughed slightly at my sad attempt of turning him on and pulled me the rest of the way up.

"I'm sorry I'm not like a playboy bunny or something," I told him when our faces were lined up.

His hand brushed against my cheek and he smiled sweetly at me. "I don't want a playboy bunny. I want you. I love you, your crazy sexy moves in bed and the quirky way you end up doing them. I wouldn't have you any other way."

My lips attacked his and we tried to quietly kiss and suckle on each other's lips. Okay, so it may be wrong that our daughter was in the bassinet next to the bed. But what else were we supposed to do?

I grabbed the baby monitor and shimmied off the bed. I curled my finger and moved backwards out of our bedroom. I moved into the living room and onto the large, leather chaise. I lay backwards, pulling Edward by the shirt to move him on top of me. I threw the baby monitor onto the couch and then moved my hands around his neck, pulling his lips back onto mine.

His hand were rubbing my stomach, caressing my bare skin with his soft hands. They occasionally dipped down into the waistband of my panties, just to be a tease. I ripped off his tee-shirt, throwing it onto the floor. I raked my nails up and down his back.

His lips went back to mine, his tongue sweeping across my lower lip. I parted my lips and his tongue pushed into my mouth, swirling around in the most delicious movements. Our tongues mingled as my fingers wound up in his messy hair, occasionally tugging at the roots. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth, grazing it with my teeth as I released it. As he pulled back, I licked my lips and winked at him, causing him to release a low pitched growl.

I brought my hands to the tie in front of my night gown. I un-did it and the front clasp of the bra, allowing the fabric to fall to the sides of me. Edward's hands palmed my breasts, kneaded my nipples between his fingers. His head moved lower and his tongue dipped out of his mouth to lap around my perky nipples. I shivered under the contact, arching my back to get more. I hitched my leg up over his hip and dug my heel into his ass, pushing his pelvis closer to mine. His hardening length rubbed up against my center at the perfect angle and I hissed at the contact.

Our mouths connected again and our kisses were frantic. Lips moving against lips and tongues sweeping out to taste one another's mouths. We were both craving more. His hips began to thrust against mine, rocking against my pelvis. I wrapped my legs around him, allowing the contact to reach my center better.

Edward's mouth moved down to my neck, grazing his teeth along the side. His open mouthed kisses left goose bumps across my body as I writhed beneath him for more. I could barely control my movements long enough to push down his boxers; my body kept shaking from the impending pleasure I knew I was going to receive.

I slipped my arms out the baby doll, ridding myself of it completely. Edward hooked his fingers in the thin waistband of the thong and slid them off me. Finally, I could feel this naked body against my naked body. His warmth covering me like a blanket, his body ghosting over mine as he teased my entrance with his tip. I kept arching my back up needing more of his, my breathing thoroughly labored. I panted heavily waiting for him to plunge inside me.

He entered me slowly, taking his time to fill me. His length reached the ends of my depth, our hips touching. He rested there, his hands magically kneading my breasts. He moved his hands up to either side of my head, using them to steady himself as he began thrusting into me. I kissed his broad chest, neck, collarbone- any bit of flesh that was in front of my lips. Edward hooked his arm under my leg, bringing it upwards so that he could move in deeper.

Skin was slapping against skin and we were both grunting at the pleasurable feeling of his movements.

I was growing close quickly, he felt too good inside me. I tightened myself around him as his movements became more rapid.

"Fuuckk," he panted out. "You're gonna make me come if you keep doing that."

He pulled out of me and sat up on his knees. He jerked me upwards and flipped me over. He pulled me onto my knees and pushed my ass up into the air. He lined himself up with my entrance, his tip glazing along my folds. He kept pushing harder against my sensitive area just to tease me.

"Fuck me, Edward!"

He snickered behind me and plunged into me. His hands gripped at my sides, pulling me into him as he grinded into me. My moaning was uncontrollable as I was quickly approaching my release. I kept tightening around him to bring him to his as I did.

"Just like that, baby. I'm gonna…"

"Come!" Edward finished as I felt him throb inside me as my walls clasped around him. We both came hard; our breathing was fast as we came down from our post-coital highs.

"Damn, that was amazing," he said to me. I turned back over and let Edward lay down against the chair and I lay backwards against his chest. His arms engulfed me and I sighed contently, feeling as though we were finally back on track.

"I love you, Edward"

"Ditto, baby," he said, kissing me gently on my head.

That night, we slept wrapped in each other's arms, sleeping soundly together throughout the night. It was the first time that happened in awhile.

We woke up to Carlie and Edward jumping on our bed, saying that it was a beach day. It sounded like a good thing to do, spend the day as a family at the beach.

I started the monstrous task of preparing everything for the beach, while Edward got all the kids fed. They all needed two towels; one for while at the beach and one for the way home. I needed a change of clothes for everyone. Extra sunscreen, hats and a blanket or two to lie on. We liked to have a radio to keep us entertained while we lay on the blanket. I had to make sure all the pails and shovels were in the beach wagon that we dragged onto the sand. I blew up their arm floaties and got the swimmer diapers ready for Katie.

Edward and Carlie picked out their swimsuits and got them on without a fuss. I lathered them in sunscreen while Katie got changed by my shirtless, sexy husband. He put sunscreen on her, leaving her nose white with excess sunscreen as a joke. I placed a hat on her head to protect her head from the sun- her hair was not very thick.

I grabbed the big umbrella and chairs to throw into the wagon. I got the baby chair for Katie with a tiny umbrella that attached to it and put that on top.

With all the food, bags and cooler thrown in the wagon as well, I think we were finally ready to go. I threw on a light cover-up on over my bikini and tossed my hair into a messy ponytail. Edward decided against a shirt and just tossed on his rayban sunglasses, making me hot for him all over again, despite the awesome sex the night before. I licked my lips and bit it discreetly when only his eyes were on me. He bit the air and pretended to growl as he winked at me and mouth "later" to me.

I put Katie in the baby Bjorn carrier against my chest and Edward situated the twins on the wagon. He pulled the wagon the two blocks to the beach and across the sand until the kids deemed a spot by the water suitable for sand castle making.

After ten minutes of unpacking and setting up our spot, the kids ran towards the shoreline. Edward ran in after them while I carried Katie over. I sat down right at the edge where the water was just coming up and sat Katie between my legs. She moved her arms and legs up and down, splashing the water up around her, causing her to erupt in a laughing fit. I don't know if it was the water or little Edward making faces at her that caused it though.

Edward was grabbing the kids and putting them under his arms and dragging them out into the ocean. They squealed as he began tossing them into the water. He was laughing just as hard as they were, the kids barely catching their breath before being thrown back into the water.

This continued for awhile before Edward clutched his back, signaling he was done for the moment picking up and throwing the kids. I picked Katie up into my arms and wadded out into the ocean. I jumped along with the waves as I made my way out to Edward and the twins. Katie enjoyed the bouncing as we went along with the waves. Edward took her from me when I reached him and I picked up Carlie, who had a harder time keeping herself up with just her floaties.

Little Edward had his attention on jet skis that were breezing by in the distance. Edward couldn't help but noticed and smiled at me, asking my permission. I nodded and he turned the little man around so he could look at his dad. "You wanna ride with me on one?"

Little Edward's eyes grew wide and sparkled with delight. "Really? Can I?" he asked, looking between his father and me. We both nodded at him and he hugged both of our sides. He began to attempt to jump up and down but it was hard since his feet couldn't reach the bottom.

We made our way back to the shore and towel dried off. Katie sat tight in her baby seat, sucking on a pacifier. I set Carlie up with a baggie of peeled frozen grapes on the towel and turned the radio onto a kiddie's music station. Edward was suiting Little Edward up in a life jacket and then they made their way over the tiny hut that rented jet skis by the hour.

I took my camera out, encased in a waterproof cover, and began to snap pictures of my boys on a red jet ski. I flashed a few of my girls as we watched the boys zip through the water. Edward wasn't going too fast but I could see little Edward hiding his face into his hands.

They had the Jet Ski for an hour but little Edward had enough after about twenty minutes. When Edward came back, Carlie decided she wanted to try. So, we strapped her up into a life jacket and put her between Edward's legs. Carlie held on, white knuckled, to the steering handle the entire time Edward had her on the ocean. She came off it stiff as a board and said she didn't want to do it again. I had the kids stay up on the blanket with me and let Edward go out on his own. The kids watched their dad jump the Jet Ski over waves and almost stand up while it was still moving. They kept pointing and gasping in awe, like their dad was the most amazing guy in the world. Which he was.

The kids ate their crust-less peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and stayed with Edward while I took a turn riding along the water. It felt nice to breeze along the waves and have the wind whipping across my face. I let it rip a bit, getting it up to at least sixty miles per hour while I was out there. Everyone came running towards me as I gave the keys back to the rental hut; the kids telling me they watched me the whole time.

No matter how simple it seems to me or Edward, you can't help but be amazed by the enthusiasm the kids have towards it. It makes you get just as excited as they are. It warms your heart as they look at you like you really are their hero and they have never seen someone better. I see it every day with my kids and it makes me realize I am the luckiest woman alive.

Every day has its struggles. Edward and I don't have the most perfect relationship- but who does? Every night when I go to sleep, I love him and I know he loves me. I'm not wondering where he is or what he's doing. I know he is home and where he stands in this marriage. My kids are the most adorable, easy-going and fun kids on the planet. Some days, they're cranky and whiny and the days drag on. For the most part, they make Edward and mine's lives more enjoyable than we could have ever hoped. They truly have enriched our lives more than we dreamed. I couldn't picture spending a day without them.

All and all, I consider myself blessed to have this family and be able to spend days like this, on the beach, soaking in as much time with them as I can.

When we got home from the beach, we all decided that we would have a backyard camp out. Edward helped the twins pitch the tent and pump up the air mattresses. We put the wood and fire starter into the fire pit for later on in the night. We gathered up graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows, because no camp out is complete without s'mores. All the extra blankets in the house were thrown into our tent, along with a few extra pillows. I sprayed everyone down in bug spray and we headed outside.

Edward and I used to this a lot when we were kids- mostly with my dad. He loved to go fishing and take Emmett, Edward and me with him. Sometimes we would stay overnight. He would create a fire from scratch and heat up hot dogs before we toasted the marshmallows. I always dreamed when we were out there, staring at the stars, that one day I could share this with my kids. Of course, I didn't picture it being in a backyard with the sounds of residential driving in the background- but I'd take what I could get.

As perfect as this night seemed, Emmett's words rang thick in my head. If Edward stopped playing basketball, what would we have tying us to here? The kids have yet to start kindergarten and don't really have friends that they would miss. They wouldn't know the difference if we lived here in L.A. or back at home in Forks. Plus, they would probably love getting to see the rest of our family more. I know our family would love it.

I never really pictured us staying here the rest of our lives. L.A. wasn't home- it never felt like home. It was just some place we lived. The tiny brownstone we barely got to live in, now that, felt like home. Cozy and small, surrounded by places and people we have known all of our lives. Our memories were in Forks.

All of this was assuming Edward was going to quit. That was the scenario I wanted, so I was planning the future accordingly. I had no idea what Edward would want from the future. Without basketball, things were much undetermined. What would he do with himself? Whatever it was, he could probably do it from Forks. Perhaps, Forks might even be better suited for his back-up dream. Edward would want to go back home, right?

I tried to push all these thoughts out of my head and enjoy the moment I was having in the present. Edward holding Katie while assisting the twins, who were toasting their marshmallows. Sparks from the fire were flying into the air, light glowing off the faces of the family I loved more than anything. Life was truly perfect.

So, why did I feel like everything could come crashing down at any moment?

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><p><em><strong>AN: Okay, so a little filler chapter before the happy family goes on vacation to the Big Apple to visit Alice and Jasper.<strong>_

_**Edward's secret is behind them but this basketball career still hangs in the balance. Will he quit? **_

_**Does Bella have a reason to feel like her perfect world could come crashing down at any moment?**_

_**We'll see! So, check back for another update soon!**_

_**Thanks for all the alerts, reviews and views! It makes me so happy- Every time I get an email, I light up! You guys are the best!**_

_**Happy Reading and Please Review!**_


	5. Believe Me, I'm Lying

There's Only One Place to Call Home

Chapter 5 – Believe Me, I'm Lying

_**AN: I'm so sorry for the delay on updating! My computer completely spazzed out and I had to wipe it completely! I had half a chapter done and lost it, and therefore had to start from scratch, twice! **__**—**__** as well as get my computer back to functioning!**_

_**Thankfully, everything seems to working properly now. My schedule has also steadied so; I should be able to get back to regularly updating.**_

_**I hope this is worth the wait!**_

_**But thanks for the patience and all the support you've given the story! I appreciate it so much! **_

_**FINALLY, here is the next chapter.**_

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><p>I thought that dealing with the kids on a daily basis was a tough job. And, I didn't even have them all the time. Bella did most of the work. Well, that's a piece of cake compared to dealing with them on an airplane for six hours.<p>

My wife, she got the easy one — Kate. Kate just sat on Bella's lap for the most part, either sucking on her bottle or sleeping. She barely made a peep the entire ride.

Me, I got stuck with the twins. I was in between the two, getting climbed over every two seconds. They had to keep switching seats because they each wanted to see out the window, to look at nothing, I'll add. They both thought it was so cool, to sit and watch the clouds pass by. So, they were told they had to take turns. But, they both decided that turns would only last a few minutes because neither one of them wanted to miss anything.

Nothing occupied them. I tried movies, snacks, drawing and they sure as hell were not going to sleep. They just kept bouncing and talking like two energizer bunnies from hell. They made friends with everyone around them, peering in front of them and behind them and chatting people's ears off. Of course, they thought it was cute.

After the longest six hours of my life, we finally landed in New York. The kids ran through the airport, knocking into people and Bella and I had a hard time keeping up with them and navigating through the airport. Twenty minutes later and three circles around the terminal, we eventually made it to baggage claim where Alice and Jasper were waiting for us. Alice nearly knocked Bella down as soon as she saw her.

"I'm so happy you guys are finally here!" she squealed as she reached me to give me a hug.

"Hey, Allie," I told her before she ran off to squeeze and attack my children.

"Hey, Edward. Nice to see you, man," Jasper said as he finally reached me.

"Same, has she been like this all morning?" I asked him, referring to Alice.

"Caffeine is produced naturally in her body. A company could make a shitload off of her, dude. We brought two cars since there was no way we could all fit in one. Alice brought her car and has a baby seat for Kate, so I figured we'd split up boys and girls." Jasper informed me, ushering us towards the exit.

"That's fine with us. Thanks for getting us, guys," Bella said, balancing Kate on her hip.

We gathered our entire lot luggage and trekked to the parking lot where Jasper and Alice's flashy cars were.

Bella and I did okay for ourselves; she had her salary as a nurse and I had mine from the D-League. But D-league pay was nothing like professional pay. We lived a very comfortable life. With three kids, a mortgage and other household expenses, we didn't have any extravagant things. Alice and Jasper just had each other. He was a psychologist with a private practice and Alice was a fashion designer with her own store. They made a shitload of money and their possessions showed it.

Jasper drove his brand new red Corvette; it was his new baby. Alice, who normally drove her Porsche 911, opted for the more practical BMV SUV, since she had to drive two young kids.

"Whoa! Uncle Jasper, is that your car?" Little Edward asked wide eyed.

"Yep, and you get to ride in it!"

"Sweet!" he squealed and ran into the backseat.

I walked over to Alice's car and helped Bella strap Kate in the car-seat while she buckled Carlie in and Jasper packed our luggage. I grabbed Bella's wrist and pulled her aside. I took her face into my hands and placed my lips on hers. I kissed her passionately, allowing my lips to linger against hers longer than they had in while.

"I expect a lot more of that on this vacation, Mrs. Cullen," I told her, placing another kiss on her cheek before walking back to Jasper's car. I glanced over my shoulder to see her standing still, fingering her lips and smiling brightly. It made me smile just as wide.

By the time we left the airport and got on the highway towards the city, my little man was already asleep in the backseat. He couldn't have done that on the plane…

"Thanks a lot for coming. It means a lot to Alice," Jasper told me.

"Thanks for having us, along with our three crazy kids. You'll probably be begging to have us leave after this weekend."

"We'll see," Jasper said with a laugh. "Things have been tough around here."

"You know, Bella said that Alice seemed a bit off the past few times she spoke to her," I mentioned.

"I don't think Alice has told anyone. I know I haven't but I just need to tell someone," he admitted and took a deep breath. "A few weeks ago, Alice miscarried."

Fuck. "Jazz, man. I'm sorry. I can't even imagine how hard this must be on you two. I didn't even know you guys were trying."

"We weren't. It just happened. Allie was late, she took a test and it was positive. The doctor said she was due in May. She was really early on. She was at work and I got a call from her, she was frantic. She told me she was cramping and bleeding. I rushed over to her and got her to the hospital but…" he paused "…it was too late. The doctor said that sometimes things aren't meant to be. Sometimes the baby isn't strong enough to make it so the body…"

He couldn't finish the sentence. I placed my hand on his shoulder and glanced back at Edward, who was sleeping soundly. I couldn't imagine if Bella had lost a baby, if Edward and Carlie or Katie didn't exist. I couldn't wrap my head around the pain that not only Alice, but Jasper must be feeling. My kids meant the world to me and they had since I found out about each of them. It was unfathomable to be that one of them could have never been. I didn't know how either of them could be functioning after such a loss.

I looked over at Jasper and saw a man going through hell; it was written all over his face, I just didn't notice it right away. As I studied him closer, I saw the subtle signs that I didn't see before. His eyes were sullen and had dark bags beneath them. His skin was pale and his hair was more disheveled than mine. The corners of his mouth naturally sagged downwards, as if he had a permanent frown on his face. Alice may be going through something unimaginable but through his concern for Alice, he forgot to grieve for himself. He lost a baby, too.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him.

"I'm worried about Alice. She won't talk about it and she hasn't been eating…"

"I'm not asking about Alice. I'm asking about you."

"I'm a wreck…" he said and paused "… I didn't even know I wanted a baby. We found out and we weren't sure how we were going to make it work with our jobs and if we could handle being parents. We were so stressed out, we never got to celebrate the fact that we were having a baby. And now, it's too late."

"It's not too late. Alice can still have another baby. Look, maybe this was some sort of blessing in disguise. You two weren't exactly ready right now but it opened your eyes to what you want. Now, you and Alice know that you guys want a baby. Start trying and enjoy it while you can because once that baby comes, your lives will never be the same," I told him, stealing another glance at Edward in the backseat.

I saw Jasper nod and he remained mostly quiet for the rest of the trip. It didn't escape me though that sliding down his cheek was one lone tear.

Once we got to the apartment, we greeted my parents and Emmett, Rose and their kids. Alice's apartment might have been spacious but with all these bodies and kids running around, it felt cramped.

My parents were putting my family and Em's family up in some fancy hotel, the Plaza. All I cared about was that we got a suite and Bella and I might get some alone time on this vacation. My parents were monopolizing all the kids as usual anyway, so it probably wouldn't be impossible.

As everyone drifted into their own side conversations, I slipped into the hallway and called quietly for Bella's attention. Her cheeks were flush as she approached me cautiously.

"Everyone is inside, Edward!" as if she read my mind as to what I was thinking.

"I remember when you used to think it was exciting to sneak in a quickie with all our family just a few rooms away," I whispered in her ear, dragging my lips across her neck.

"Edward!" she said quietly, half scolding and half panting. I was a few perfectly placed kisses away from getting her to cave.

Then the wailing came from in the living room. Bella went into Mommy mode faster than I could snap my fingers and she brushed past me to find out what the fuss was all about. I reluctantly adjusted myself and followed slowly behind her. I was surprised to see it was Carlie crying so loud.

"I'm sorry, dude. I didn't think it would be a big deal," Emmett said to me.

"What happened?"

"Emmett wanted to surprise you, little Edward and Jasper by getting Yankee tickets for all you boys. Carlie got upset because Edward and Alex are going and she can't go," Rose explained.

Yankee tickets… sweet! Wait, crying child to deal with first.

"But Carlie, we can have a girl's day. Get our nails done, do make up and play dress up. I happen to be the queen of doing a big girls day!" Alice said in an attempt to lighten Carlie's spirits, the other girls nodded their heads in agreement but she shook her head no and ran towards me, latching onto my leg.

I reached down and lifted her up into my arms and she clasped her hands together behind my neck, sniffling against my shoulder. "Why do you want to go so bad? Because Edward is going?" I asked her. She may be my kid but she hated watching baseball games. She always huffed and puffed when it was on at home. She nodded against my shoulder. "You don't want him to have a good time?"

"I do, Daddy."

"I think that Aunt Alice will make sure you have just as good a time as we do, maybe even better!" I told her, causing her face to perk up a little bit, but tears kept streaming down her face. I knew I had to do one better. I whispered in her ear, "When we get back home, I will take you to a game, just me and you, peanut. We'll get all dressed in baseball gear and we will make a day of it, okay?" She nodded empathically and jumped out of my arms and ran to discuss the rest of the day that Alice had planned. Tears were gone and it was like nothing ever happened.

"What did you promise her?" Bella asked when she was by my side again.

I was known for spoiling her. Whenever she cried, she came to me because nine times out of ten, her tears bought her something. When she stopped crying, it was normally because Daddy promised to get her something. I may be able to fool everyone else with my great parenting skills but my wife knew better.

"I told her I'd take her to a game, just the two of us. This way she can experience a game too," I told her honestly.

"I would yell at you for spoiling her but you got her to stop her tantrum so, thank you," she said, reaching up on her tippy toes to give me a kiss on the cheek. But I wasn't having that shit. I purposely turned my head at the last moment so that our lips locked together. My hands went to the back of her head, pushing her to kiss her further and more passionately. She fought against me as I plunged my tongue into her mouth but the pleasure overwhelmed her. The force against me lessened and she kissed me back just the way I wanted it.

I pushed her backwards, up against the wall. My hands grazed up along her thighs and up to the hem of her shirt. My fingers danced along the tiny bit of skin between the end of her shirt and the waistband of her jeans. Her hips bucked forward and I pushed back in response, letting her feel how much I wanted her right then and there.

But a deep cough behind us forced us to pull apart.

"You two do realize you aren't alone, right?" Emmett said.

"We were until you interrupted us," I seethed, turning around to face Emmett. Bella giggled behind me, leaning against the wall. "What's up?"

"The kids are begging to get going. They can't wait to leave. So, can you finish this up later?"

I shooed Emmett away and faced Bella again. She smiled at me and grazed her fingers along my cheek.

"Go, baby. Enjoy yourself."

I kissed her once more on the lips and leaned my forehead against hers. "We will be finishing this later. Interruptions or not, Mrs. Cullen."

"I'll hold you to that, Mr. Cullen," she told me with a wink.

I flashed her the smile that always caused to go weak in the knees and she flung herself into my arms. I caught her in mid-air and held her close to my body. My head landed in the crook of her neck and I was surrounded in a sea of her mango-scented hair. I inhaled deeply, allowing her sweet aroma to chill through my body.

"Try not to have too fun much with the girls while I'm gone," I whispered in her ear before placing a wet, sloppy kiss on her cheek.

She slid out of my arms and slapped my chest. "Try not to spoil little man too much at the game today. I know you, Edward Cullen," she told me, pointing her dainty finger at my face.

I kissed it and flicked my tongue over it and darted out of the room.

I heard her yell, "You're gross, Edward!" as I grabbed little Edward and flew down the stairs, and into Jasper's waiting SUV. Bella hated whenever I licked her; she was grossed out by spit, despite the fact that we quite frequently swapped it.

The game was great; the kids had a blast. But, I think that Jasper, Emmett and I acted more like kids than they did. Each time a player came up to bat, we were acting like little school girls; "Oh My God! That's…" I was thankful the girls weren't there. They would have videotaped it and made fun us mercilessly.

We ate all the horrible stadium food, got the commemorate program and even some new jerseys for everyone. We tried to stay after to get some autographs but we had no luck. Edward and Alex did each get a ball though. Emmett happened to find great seats. I had no idea how he pulled these tickets off. They were fourth row, behind home plate, FIELD level. So, every time there was a foul ball, the kids ran up to where the ball boy was. The kids, being adorable kids, easily each got a ball. I swear it was like a treasure for them; they sat there admiring the ball for most of the time rather than paying attention to the game. They had idea you could walk down to models and get the same ball for like five bucks. Not that any of else had the heart to tell them that.

When we got back to the hotel afterwards— we didn't bother going back to Alice's, it was getting late— I found out that my parents were taking the kids for the night, since they missed them so much.

That meant that Bella and I had an entire suite hotel room to ourselves.

As soon as we stepped foot into the massive room, Bella ran straight into the bathroom with a little bag, which hopefully meant little to no clothes, and spent her time getting acquainted with the bathroom. I took my time getting into the bedroom, taking my shoes off, unbuckling my belt and slipping my jeans off. I plopped down on the bed and threw off my shirt. I laid down on the soft, plush bed in just my boxers as I waited for my sexy wife to finally get back out to me. At this point, I couldn't have given a shit as to what she was wearing. As sexy as it was to see her dress up, it was even sexier to just admire her naked body. I was just going to be stripping it all off anyways.

She must have read my mind. Because when she stepped out, she wore just a silk robe left completely open for me to see her beautiful body. Her hair was left down in loose waves; she had such natural beauty, from her face to her hair and down to her perfect body.

I curled one finger in the air and raked my eyes up and down her body. I found out she did put one thing on. A pair of high fuck-me black heels. Her legs looked like they went on for miles. All I wanted to do was rub my hands up and down her smooth skin…

She teased me, slowly crawling up from the edge of the bed and up to the top where I was. She positioned herself between my legs and dragged her nails down the front of my chest. She kissed me passionately, letting herself drop down onto me so that our bodies were close together. Our naked bodies were tangled up in each other's embrace, my arms completely enclosing her to my body.

Through our kissing, we fall sideways, and Bella's leg is hitched over my body. My growing erection is lined up with her bare center. As we rock back and forth and have our hands roam each other's bodies, my hard-on grazes her center and I can barely wait to finally be inside her again. It feels likes it been forever.

I roll Bella over onto her back so that I can move on top of her. My mouth works its way down her neck and chest to the peaks of her breasts. I swirl my tongue around her harden nipples. She arches her back up into me in pleasure. I love knowing the effect I can have on her body. I know that if I graze her with my teeth it drives her crazy. And that she doesn't like her nipples to be sucked on hard, because they're sensitive. I know that all I need to do is breath along her collarbone to have her writhing under me, begging for me to touch her. I know her body and her pleasures inside out.

As much as I love taking the time to explore her body and drag out the foreplay, I can't wait any longer to be inside her. I position myself at her entrance and capture her lips with mine. She grunts into my mouth as I plunge inside her. I stayed still inside her, relishing in the intense pleasure she gives me.

My pace slowly started to pick up. Bella lifted her leg up so that I could reach deeper inside her.

"God, baby. I missed this," I moaned to her.

"Hmm, you feel so good baby," she panted.

I lifted her leg higher and sat straight up, so that every time I would thrust into her, I would hit that spot. Her head bent back and I could see her eyes roll into the back of her head. I knew she was getting it good. Her leg leaned against my torso, her foot resting on her shoulder and beneath me, she was a writhing mess. Her release was close.

I felt her muscles tightening around me, making it feel even better than before. I slammed into her harder, bringing my fingers down to rub her to bring her to her climax. Her breathing picked up and I felt her throb around me. A smile broke out on her face and she seemed relived but I wasn't done with her.

I kept going, only slowing down a bit as she rode out the aftershocks of her orgasm.

"I'm going to make you come again, baby," I told her.

Her smile only got wider because she knew I could.

I lowered her leg and then myself onto her, my body ghosting over hers. My pelvis was flush up against her and I was rubbing against her swelling, sensitive flesh. She was already getting close again. She dug her feet into my thighs and dragged her nails across my back, painfully pleasurable.

Her, so tight around me, her wanton sounds and gorgeous body were bringing me to my own release. I brought my lips to hers, kissing her with all I had. Our tongues danced together between our mouths as she became impossibly tight around me.

"Come with me," she told me.

I grunted as her orgasm brought me to mine, her tightness throbbing around me milking me dry.

I collapsed beside her, breathless.

"Fuck," was all I could say.

"That was amazing."

"I love you so much, baby," I told her, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

"Always and forever, my love."

"Always and forever," I repeated, wrapping my arms around her body. We lay wrapped in each other's embrace, her head resting on my chest. We fell asleep like that.

The next day was Alice's party. Since it was close to Halloween, which happened to be Alice's favorite holiday, she made it a costume party. Apparently, Vampires were the 'hot' thing nowadays, so I made myself pale, got fake teeth, fake blood around my lips and dirtied up an old suit.

Bella had a blast picking out costumes for the kids; she was a regular ol' girly girl, squealing about "how cute" everything was. Katie was going to be Piglet— Bella even put blush on her cheeks to make them pink like the rest of her costume. The twins wanted different costumes, but Bella wanted them to match. As a compromise, Edward was going to dress up as a football player, helmet and all and Carlie was going to be a cheerleader. She kept twirling around in her skirt and shaking her pom-poms. We should really let her join cheerleading next year; apparently they have kiddie cheerleading, like tumbling and shit.

It was Bella that was going to steal the show though. She decided to be Marilyn Monroe. She got the low-cut, flowing white dress, which she decided to pair with red pumps. Her hair was pinned up underneath the curly, blonde wig she wore. Her lips were painted with bright red lipstick and she even drew a tiny dot on her cheek to replicate the mole Marilyn had. She was a fucking knock-out.

Alice decorated the apartment like a haunted house. There was stretched cotton spread out along the tables and all edges. Skeletons were hung around along with eerie music playing in the background. Cupcakes were already out on the table, icing colored in orange, green and purple with spiders, ghosts and haunted houses on top of them made out of fondant.

I felt bad for Jasper— Alice was one of those women who needed to match, right down to her husband's costume. Alice, being the birthday girl, party planner and just Alice, decided the theme. She wanted to be Tinkerbell, so guess what Jasper had to be… Yep, Peter Pan, down to the tight girly tights and green hat with a feather. He wore it like a champ though.

Rose, Emmett and the twins dressed up as the Flintstone family. Alex and Sam were pretty damn cute as Pebbles and Bam-Bam. I had a feeling that by the end of the night, his bat would be taken away though; he kept hitting everyone with it.

My parents went with Olive Oil and Popeye.

Everything was going great; everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. The kids were wired up on all the candy that was lying around and playing hide and seek. The adults stayed huddled in the kitchen, alcohol flowing and laughter growing louder by the minute. Alice seemed to have forgotten about all her misfortune and was having a good time. It seemed like things were going great.

As the night grew later, my parents decided to take all the kids back to the hotel and take them for another night. It was probably for the best since we were all drinking a lot and would probably end up crashing here.

One thing lead to another, and we all ended up around the kitchen table playing never have I ever.

"Never have I ever…. Had sex in public!" Alice stated, looking dead at Rosalie, who rolled her eyes and threw back a shot. Emmett was more proud throwing back his shot. Then Bella and I just looked at each other and threw back our shots. Everyone started to laugh because Bella was always the good girl, not the girl that would have had sex in public.

"Never have I ever…. Peed myself from laughing so hard!" Rose said, looking at Alice this time— obviously they were taking stabs at each other. Alice meekly took her shot. But, Emmett threw back a shot, too.

"Emmett? What the fuck?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow at her husband.

"Oh, I never did it. I just wanted to take another shot," he declared, causing us all to crack up in laughter.

"Alright, Edward, it's your turn!" Alice told me.

I had no idea what to say. Then, I remembered a childhood memory. Emmett and I were about five and running around in the backyard. He had a sick sense of what was fun from an early age. He thought it would be fun to throw rocks at the birds in the trees. He continually picked up the tiny pebbles from my mom's garden and chucked them as hard as he could into the tree. Most of them didn't make it, since he was only five, but eventually he struck one bird. I don't know if birds even get pissed off and realized they did but this bird got even. He flew out of the tree and circled around Emmett. Next thing I knew, Emmett was crying and running inside. The bird had pooped on him and landed all over his face.

"Never have I ever had a bird shit on my face," I said, smirking right at Emmett.

He didn't find it as funny as I did though. He pursed his lips together and nodded at me, before taking his shot.

I knew he would get me back— it was in his nature. And he was next.

"This was is for you, Eddie boy. Never have I ever lied to my wife about my job. Drink up, Edward."

Fuck.

Everyone was staring at me now, and Bella's eyes burned the hottest on my skin. I downed my shot and slammed the glass down onto the table.

"Couldn't keep your fucking mouth shut, Emmett."

"You asked for it," he replied.

"What the fuck is going on? Edward, what have you lied about?" Bella asked.

"Let's talk about it later, baby. Now isn't really the time," I told her.

"Edward…" she was getting angrier now. She would only get angrier as time passed and once she found out the truth.

"I'll tell you, B," Emmett offered.

"Butt out, Em. You've done enough already," I seethed.

"Enlighten me, Emmett. Since my _husband_ can't be man enough to tell his wife the truth!"

"You see, remember a few months back when Edward told you he wasn't going to play basketball anymore?" Bella shook her head yes. "Remember how he told you that he called the coach and the D-League and told them he couldn't play because of his back?" Bella turned her attention towards me now, and shook her head yes. "Well, he never did. He didn't want to make a decision and still wanted to see if he could play. He just wanted to shut you up. But he wanted to keep his options open. Edward is still technically on the team," Emmett finished, downed another shot and walked out of the room.

I ignored the looks that Bella was giving me and followed Emmett out of the room.

"What the fuck, _brother_? Why the fuck did you blow up my spot?"

"First off, because I'm fucking drunk and have zero filter at this point. Secondly, you brought that bird shit up specifically to piss me off and it worked. Third, she deserves to fucking know and Lord knows, you weren't going to tell her. Don't be pissed at me; the truth would have come out eventually anyway."

"It's not your place," I seethed and turned around to get Bella but I nearly knocked into her before I even took a step forward. She stood in front of me, arms cross and lips tight together in a straight line. "Look, Bella…"

"It's true, isn't it? You really lied to me about something like this?" she asked.

"Bella…."

"No, no. Don't say my name like you forgot to do the dishes, Edward! You lied to me! You kept this from me! And, you really still think you can play?" she yelled.

I felt like shit. I tried not to think about what I had done over the past few months, so that I wouldn't feel guilty. Now that it's out in the open and I see the hurt look on Bella's face, I remembered the guilt I felt as I didn't place the phone call I told her I made. I didn't deserve her.

"What? You have nothing to say for yourself?"

"I know I screwed up. I know I shouldn't have lied and I know I should have made that call. But, I was hoping that something would change between then and before camp started. I was hoping the doctors might find a solution or tell me something different. I knew you wouldn't understand…."

"Wouldn't understand? WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND? Do you understand where I'm coming from at all? That all sounds reasonable but what was going to happen when camp rolled around? Were you going to go?"

I kept my mouth shut. I honestly didn't know the answer. I hadn't thought that far ahead, I hadn't thought about what would happen in a few short weeks when camp started. I did want to go, but I also knew that nothing had changed.

"Exactly. Leave, Edward. Emmett!" she yelled. Emmett came into the living room, hanging his head. Bastard should be hanging his head. Too late for feeling bad about the fight that he started now. "Emmett, take him somewhere. I don't want to see him. I need time to think."

"Time to think about what, Bella? I'm you're husband, if you have thinking to do, you should be doing it with me. We're in this together!"

"Like how we were together on what you hid? I just need to think. Don't make this more difficult, Edward. Just go," she said, turning back around to go to the kitchen. I heard the girls whispering from the kitchen as Jasper made his way out too.

"Come on, Edward. Let's just go," Jasper said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"No, I'm staying. I'll just wait in here. Give her a few minutes to calm down and then she'll want to talk and work this all out," I told him, shaking off his hand.

"Edward, she wants you to go. Let's just get out of here and come back tomorrow. You can work it all out, tomorrow" Emmett urged.

"Don't you give me advice! You're the one that started this!" I yelled.

Bella came storming back in at the raised volume of my voice. "Don't get mad at him for being the only one honest with me, Edward. This isn't his fault. It's you who you should be mad at, not Emmett."

"Well, he should mind his business. I'm not leaving here, Bella."

"Yes, you are. I don't want you here right now. I cant even look at you! I'm disgusted with you that you kept something like this from me for so long. It's like I don't even know you anymore!"

I walked closer to her, pulling away from Emmett and Jasper's grasp that tried to pull me back. I went to put my hand against her cheek, pull her in for a hug but she stepped back immediately. "Bella…"

"I cant right now, Edward. This time, you might have done too much," she said and went past the kitchen and towards the back of the apartment. I saw Alice and Rose follow and the door slammed shut.

"They've probably locked it," Jasper said.

"Let her cool down, Edward. Let's get back to the hotel and just crash. We'll come back tomorrow and I bet everything will me better. I didn't mean…" Emmett tried to say.

"Don't even bother. Now, I have to go back to my hotel suite to an empty bed while my wife contemplates whether she should leave me or not. I'm just supposed to be okay? Fuck that!" I yelled and stormed out, not even bothering to slam the door behind me.

I walked out and down the street, stopping to look down the street both ways, for any clues as to where to go. Emmett and Jasper took advantage of that opportunity and caught up with me.

"Don't," Emmett said, breathless with his hands on his knees. "Don't make a guy on chemo chase after you."

"I didn't want you to chase me."

"Edward, let's just grab a cab, head to the hotel and crash. It's gonna work out alright, Bella loves you. You know that," Jasper said.

"I don't know if she'll forgive me this time. She's never kicked me out, never told me she was disgusted with me. Why do I do these stupid thing?" I yelled out loud to no one in particular. I kicked a random bottle on the floor. I paced along the corner, tears daring to stream down my face. I put on a good show that I was mad and worked up but had I been alone, I would have been crying like a baby.

Bella was all I knew. She was the love of my life, my better half. I was nothing without her. I needed her in my life. I don't know what the fuck I would do or be without her. I cant believe it took all this and this fucked up situation for me to realize that of course I wouldn't be playing basketball. If she asked me to stop, that was all it should have been. I should have called and quit right away. I was stupid not to have done it in the first place.

I was scared, more scared than I had ever been. This time, more than any other time in my life, I was truly worried I might lose her. I always knew she was better than me and I didn't deserve her. I always knew that I would do something to screw this up, considering how great it's been for me. But now that it's actually happening, I feel like my world is ending. If I didn't have her, I didn't see much point in living.

I didn't know what to do to make it better. But I knew one thing that I needed to do to start to make this situation right.

I picked up my phone and dialed a number off the top of my head.

"Coach, its Cullen. I'm not coming to camp," I said into the phone.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Well, Edward made a little mistake… and next we'll get to hear Bella's side and what she's thinking. They will still be in Manhattan and there will be some girl's night gossip!<strong>_

_**I hope that everyone enjoyed the update and will continue to support this story! I promise to update more regularly now that I have my computer up and running.**_

_**Happy Reading and Please review!**_


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